Religion
- Hierarchical leadership works in the military but not many other places. I will pass
by, for the moment, discussions on business and the family. I believe it is especially
destructive in spiritual matters. Jesus says, 'Take my yoke upon you'. This means
that he wants to lead us by walking along with us not in front of us. He leads us by
example. Not an example of perfection (even though He could, but what good would
that do me?) but an example of vulnerability. I will confess my hurts and needs to
you so that you can do it with each other.
- Is ritual bad? It is easy for me to push against it due to my strong dislike with religion and all of it's bad side effects. However, the Old Testament is full of rituals established by God. I believe we are living in the age of the Spirit where ritual is no longer necessary, but, depending on our culture, worship outside of ritual may be difficult. That does not mean that we are weak. The problem comes in when the ritual becomes a means of connecting with God rather than a celebration of a deep connection that is already cultivated. For example, Valentines day can be seen as a ritual. However, if a man sonstantly uses that day as a means to form a bridge with his wife and has not bothered to establish an intimacy throughout the other days, it will obviously be rejected as insencere. (Isaiah 1) So, is one ritual better than another? Do we believe that those who perform the rituals we practice to be closer to God? If so, perhaps the ritual is no different than trying to buy off someone with a box of chocolates.
- Could it be that God wants to create an army of smerfs?
- Religion is for those who are afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there. (bumper sticker)
- 'If you love Me feed my sheep.' Feed has been interpreted as educate. Where did that come from? So we have sermons, Bible studies, seminars, work books, etc. Who is the mana? Who is the Bread of Life? When we focus on teaching, we contaminate the community by perpetuating our own issues. We are not to become an army of pop psychologists. The point is not to get it together, but rather to get together.
- Is spiritual something where God is mentioned? Can a romantic song be considered spiritual?
- Does our gifts get stronger by exercising them or submitting to them?
- Lord, thank you for reminding me that I am to lead by example. Not by being a perfect model or by having all of the wise answers, but by being open to seeing my faults with God and others.
- Help me Lord to remember to help people not by looking for what needs to be fixed, but by looking for Christ in them and nurturing that. Fixing is defensive. Inspiration is offensive.
- 'God meets us where we are, not where we pretend to be or wish we were.' Truth is a two-way street. We have to be true about ourselves in order to hear God's truth to us. p137 Real Church
- Why do you go to church?
- Religion says that life is about choices. If we make bad choices, bad things happen. This leads us to try to control people to make the right decisions. Any counseling based on this is abusive. There is only one choice - God's way or the Devil's way. When we choose against God, the results are always bad whether they show up immediately or over time or whether they show up spiritually rather than physically. Lot made such a choice. To chose God always has a good spiritual outcome, regardless of the physical results. It matters little whether we chose A or B. If we chose with God in mind, He will make it work toward His purpose. We do not have to have faith in ourselves. Just trust Him.
- Religion says that God only speaks through trials, but He sometimes guides us by giving us a taste of what He ultimately wants us to have. If we focus on that joy, just as we can get fixated on a trial, we miss the leeson that will change us so that we can have that joy. This situation that provides the joy then becomes an idol and leads us away from God rather than towards Him. He is then forced to remove the situation to avoid harm to us. If we can mature enough, we will no longer need the carrot or the stick to lead us but our affections are focused on Him and so we see these 'good' or 'bad' situations as opportunities to see Him more clearly. The next step is that we begin to be less self-centered and see God's actions corporately. All of our issues are in the corporate arena anyway. What is God saying to us? The next step is that God allows us to see what He is doing in others so that we can play a part in helping them and, by doing so, see Him more clearly. Eventually, our focus is our helping others reach their joy in God and our desire to work our own issues is not just to find our desire but to be molded to help others reach theirs. That is community. God in us.
- Faith is not something that God demands of us when time are hard. t is a gift that we receive when we are willing to allow Him to share His heart with us. Through the intimacy of shariing His desires and dreams (love) we also have faith (trust). Passion (love) casts out fear. Love is not specific. Love in this passage refers to love for all, not just God. You cannot separate them.
- Religion justifies actions based on 'blessings'. If things are going well, I must be 'doing it right'. Not only is this a cruel theology to those who suffer, but is has a limited and distorted view of what 'blessings' mean. It implies a self-centered view of blessings that usually revolve around love and money which our culture ties closely together. This view aims too low. My look at the Bible finds no such pattern with the lives of 'saints' or the evil. 'The rain falls on the just and the unjust.' Blessing is the pleasure and honour to play a role in furthering God's kingdom by changing peoples lives, freeing them from prisons that Satan has made for them and allowing them to feel the passion of an other-centered life. God's path for our lives can involve a mixture of prosperity and poverty, romance and isolation. To look at these things to determine God's approval would be confusing not to mention selfish. Sometimes, the worst thing that could happen to us is that we get what we ask for. It is juvenile theology to assume that 'blessings' come from God and 'trials' come from Satan. Help me Lord to keep my eyes centered on You and not my own comfort. How many christians do I know that have taken themselves out of the game because they have found a blessed exsistence? Depending on how determined someone is to avoid God's adventures, the definition of 'blessing' can be very meager. Is our God big enough to hope for more to the extent that we are not satisfied with the 'blessings' and gladly lay them at His feet in hopes for the higher prize - Himself. Oh Lord, continue to stir my heart. I fear how settled and hard it can become without You. Some desire comfort. Some desire God to provide comfort. Some desire God.
- If we can't see God as more than just a means to an end rather than the goal itself, we won't see people as the goal itself either. Religion and friendship do not coexist.
- Religion says that love is dangerous and must be controlled. Love is dangerous. It is the most powerful force in the universe. It can spin our life out of control. Lord, help me see it clearly, apart from need, so I can have the faith to turn it loose.
- Religion seeks to restrict us to prevent us from taking liberties (sin) that we are not supposed to. However, when we see the freedom found in Christ, the sin is no longer seen as a temptation but as a restraint. Help me Lord to look past my needs to see Your freedom so that the shackles of religion do not make sin look like freedom.
- I wonder when I say that I am doing 'God's work' that I am not taking myself too seriously and maybe even be acting a little arrogant. Why do I use the term 'work'? It may be 'God's work' to take a friend to a movie. I may be more accurate to say 'God's play'. It's not all about fixing but about cultivating.
- Legalism builds hierarchy. Love tears it down.
- Oh Lord, help us to elliminate self-gratification from our spiritual walk and replace it with love. We are like labs willing to heal and submit in anticipation that You will allow us to work in the supernatural (throw us the ball). We can't get enough of it. It is like a drug that gets us through our isolated, depressive existence. We crave the supernatural like a drug whether we are exercising them or they are being exercised in our behalf. Why are all the gifts being excercised in churches on saved people? Jesus didn't heal in the synagogues. He healed in the streets. The gifts were a witness that what Jesus was saying was true and He was who He claimed to be. They were a witness of God's love. He could have just levitated people but love, not the gift, was the focus. Our suffering does not earn us the right to exercise the gifts. Love is the ultimate gift (ICorinthians 13) (Mathew 12:38-42). Much of our suffering is our own fault. Much of it because of childhood attacks from Satan that has warped our perspective which perpetuated the suffering. We cannot enhance the gifts by sacrifice. It is confusing because we see people that work so strongly in the gifts, such as prophetic and healing, sacrifice so much. We deduce that if we copy their lifestyle that we too can have those gifts. But the sacrifice is a result of the gift not the other way around. Exercising the gift requires putting other people ahead of ourselves because the gifts are a manifestation of love. The sacrifice did not cause the gift, the gift caused the sacrifice. They are called gifts for a reason.
- Matthew 12:38-42 - Are we that 'evil and adulturous generation' that seeks a sign? The signs were meant to show love not power (healing the sick and the blind and feeding the poor). For those that were seeking love it was enough. For those that were seeking power, it is never enough till manah falls from the sky and His kingdom is set up on earth.
- The part of us that is defensive against outsiders accusations is the part that is unreal (religious).
- Many christians crave to see Your power in the midst of our pain. 'Give us a sign'. We desire a word of prophesy or a healing. Help us Lord, to grasp the power of divine love. A power that is not to us but through us to others. Is this not the answer to our pain - what we have been craving? The power that changes lives (hearts) not just circumstances.
- Whatever we set as valuable is what we will use to rank people by rather it be intelligence, sex appeal, etc. Christians value gifts, as they should, but these gifts should never take presidence over God's love (ICorinthians 14). God's love is the only thing that elevates God rather than man. When our focus and highest desire is God's love, then He gets the honor as we become more humbled in it's presence. It is God's love that does the work, not the gifts. They are only a tool. This puts the focus on the receiver of the gift and not the giver and God gets the glory. We should never elevate the giver by giving him a title or office and we should never desire this praise. There is no power in the gifts. The Holy Spirit speaks not of Himself but of Christ. The gifts only reveal God's love where it is blocked. Spirituality is love, not giftedness. We are to strive to connect to God's love not the gifts alone. Striving for God's love is corporate, striving for the gifts for the gift's sake is individual.Only God's love builds community and honors God. Anything else builds idols.
- Faith is more than a mere allegiance to life principles, it is a deeper inner connection with a living God. p215 Unchristian
- The political battles have taken on a life of their own. It is more about power struggle than the issue. Gays march down the main streets of New York in their gay parade wearing tutus and leather for one reason - to tick off christians. If we get lured into this fight and wave 'God hates fags' signs, we have forgotten the main fight - rescuing their souls. We may win the battle but lose the war as countless gays enter eternity with clinched fists. The only reason they do this is becuause they feel justified when we are angry at them and it fuels sympathy with others. Also, they are much less afraid of our anger than our compassion because compassion opens their heart to see the pain that caused the homosexuality.
- The isolation between churchgoers and outsiders seems to be as much the desire of the churchgoers as the outsiders. It is natural to want to hang out with our own kind.
- We can't be judgemental if we are not isolated. p200 Unchristian
- 'The opposite of sin is not virtue, it is grace.' Philip Yancey
- We say 'hate the sin but love the sinner' but rarely get around to the second part.
- Without religion, community thrives.
- Christians are so judgemental, we can't even get along with each other, let alone outsiders. Perhaps we are just as afraid of being compassionate to oursiders as they are of receiving it, for the same reason. To be compassionate requires that we get in touch with our own pain and shortcomings and then be willing to share them. It is not necessary that we have the same shortcomings to be compassionate, Jesus was perfect yet He was compassionate to all. Religion prevents us from being compassionate because it sees others pain as the result of their sin. However, if we are willing to look deeper at ourselves and others, we will see that it is a vicious cycle where their pain caused their sin also. Pain can lead us to resort to sinful, self-serving ways to relieve the pain only to cause more pain. Do we really want to take the beam out of our own eye? Do we prefer to stay blinded and just offer superficial, judgemental advice? Is this a judgement of ourselves? If we are judgemental toward ourselves, we are judgemental toward others. God shows us our faults not to judge us but to invite us to a more initmate level of love.
- How few people pursue God out of love rather than need. Need stops pursuing when the need is met. Those that want more cannot be happy in the pew.
- Lord, protect us that are searching for Your Way from those that think they have found it.
- When the Greeks got the gospel, they turned it into a philosophy; when the Romans got it, they turned it into a government; when the Europeans got it, they turned it into a culture;; and when the Americans got it, they turned it into a business. Richard Halverson
- Authority and dominance are exclusive. One cannot exist with the other. Dominance says, 'I am in charge because I can be and no one can stop me'. Authority says, 'I am in charge because I am better equiped to lead than anyone else and so have more to offer'.
- 'Christianity is a social religion...to turn it into a solitary religion is indeed to destroy it.' John Wesley
- Heirarchy is a way of finding security apart from God as Israel did by requesting a king. With the Holy Spirit's guidance, hierarchy is not so important. Hierarchy needs rules which need laws to enforce the rules which needs a chain of command to enforce the laws which destroys relationship.
- One serious side effect of working to please God by good deeds is that if we ever determine that we have achieved that goal we automatically feel superior to others and that we have the right of power which leads to tyrants (p59 Reason for God) but grace is the giving up of power.
- If we claim to live the church of Acts time, perhaps we need to start acting like it. Where has the doctrine come from that says we are not to interfere with each other's sufferings for fear that we will interfere with God's work in them? That sounds more like Hindu than Christian. What good is our unity if it only happens in the spiritual rhealm and does not touch the physical or emotional? The Acts church was unified in all those. The simplicity of Your love more than humbles, it humiliates me. I believe that we enhance God's work by helping each other, not hinder it because the weight of glory is heavier than the weight of trial. God's work is enhanced by grace not hindered. If we are not willing to reach out to each other physically and emotionally first, we have no business reaching out spiritually.
- Oh Lord, my heart reaches out to those that are rejected by the religious system. They hurt too bad and don't have the skills and talents necessary to fake their way through the system. You seem unreachable. But, I want to raise an army from the spritually outcast the way that you did with David. (pgs. 88-89 Encouragement) I need wisdom to reach these people because when I try to encourage them to come and experience what You have given me, many will just be intimidated and will not feel they can reach to where I am at. I will look just like the church. These people have all tried and failed. Pep talks will not help. They need courage and even more importantly, hope.
- In order to be fully release from a sin, I must truly repent and die to the sin. In other words, I must see it in all of it's ugliness and despise it as God does.
- Religion says to be good in order to be accepted. Christ says to be good because we are accepted.
- How do I discern if it's God's voice or not? The Bible says that the sheep can recognize the shepherd's voice. When I am helping people, how can I find God's voice? The Bible says that the Word cuts to the joints and is the discerner of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12) John 1,1 says that the Word is God. I John 4:16 says God is love. So to tell if it is God's voice is if it is love. The Devil tries to counterfeit love by having compassion on sinful acts but this love is always accompanied by hate for those who disagree.
- The basic process: God attract my attentio to a certain person and a current issue of theirs by strirring up passionate insights about that person and their issue. He show me how to relate with specific stories in my life so that I can pray with compassion rather than clinical critique. Shortly after that , He arranges a meeting between us and usually the person brings up the issue because God has been working on them about it. I help clarify it with examples of my own so that we connect. Then God guides me to lighten the path He has for them but getting to the rest of their need.
- Romans 1:28-32 We relate the reprobate mind to the previous verses discussing sexual perversion, but that is only the symptom. The true definition is in verses 29-32 and can apply to many religious people as well. It is a fearful thing when God stops inviting us to join in His service to others. The description in verses 29-32 are what happens to a person who habitually avoids God. It is a description of a shut down spirit which is what is required to avoid God. That is why sexual perversion, which starts as sexual fantasy, is a symptom because it is the only other escape for a dying spirit.
- Self-righteousness usually means a cold heart.
- Trying to 'do the right thing' is a selfish endeaver.
- In order to do those things within God's will, we must constantly ask for what we need.
- God has given us authority over nature and the Demons which is more than just submitting to God's will. God's will is broad and not just one thing. When we are in tune with Him, we are aware of the sphere of that will. We have the authority to chose, within that will, the things to do that we feel most closely match our gift.
- Man's method of brokeness by means of physical, emotional and spritual abuse creates self loathing that shuts down the ability to give or receive love. This destroys manhood by destroying the motivation (love) to scrifice. God's brokeness spurs the desire for love more as we struggle to fulfill it in any manor of earthly ways till we finally realize that the desire we crave can only be fulfilled by God.
- I believe that a good, moral, christian, passionless life does more harm for furthering God's Kingdom than a wayward christian lost in debauchery.
- A good sign that we are not pursuing God is that if we are not desiring His company, we don't usually desire the company of His people either.
- The root or source of the passion that comes over me from the Spirit is not wisdom, but love.
- Lord, I pray that the large hole in my soul caused by the pain of unmet needs could be used as a conduit for Your Spirit to flow more freely to others.
- We gather and pray for God to give to us manna. We feel that we are spiritual because we search for You. But our focus is off. We are to search for others. Instead of manna, You give us a little bread and fish at the bottom of a big basket. The size of the basket is both a promise of what You are willing to give and also the extent of neediness this world has left us. The more we yearn for You only makes us more aware of how empy our basket is. So we gratefully take whatever crumbs we have and we devour them. We tell others that there is a God that supplies all our needs and that this is just an appetizer, but the wold does not see any of the food that we speak of and we look just as hungry as them. Just more pathetic and hopeful than them. They get up and walk away, to search for food on their own and we gather around Jesus with our empty baskets. He doesn't give us enough to keep a bird alive because we never give it away. That is the only way that our basket can be full. Lord, I am so blinded by my hunger, tht I do not even see who to pass the food out to.
- The more religion is played out in the feminine world of home rather than the masculine world of the public sector, it will conform to become more feminine. p. 151 The Church Impotent
- Summation of christian femininity - The corporate view of the Church as a bride has been transformed to individual identification. This caused more nuns who, as mystics, saw their relationship with Christ as erotic. They transformed the image of Christ into the female desire for a sensitive, nonjudgemental man and transformed our relationship with Him as purely receptive and subjective making women more suited and thus more holy. The idea of purgatory and eventually no Hell came from this. Now, feminism has come out of it as most of the charasmatic activity revolves around women.
- 'They esteemed Him not' - the latest way God has allowed me to relate to Him. The religious community judges based on how many religious activities I am involved n, how I dress and wear my hair, how much I go to church, and how well my life is going. I lose on all counts.
- Death and resurrection are written in nature, especially the seasonal movement of sun and moon till when the resurgent sun meets the full moon at the vernal equinox. (unknown)
- A major obstacle of overcoming our sins is our attachment to them. They become part of our identity and to give them up plunges us into the fearful unknown of who we are. As a woman who keeps marrying abusive men. We may even set ourselves up to validate our sin. 'I will always be that way' is a common phrase I hear.
- Offering my pain on the alter is not the same as the religious 'giving it to God'. Religious advice is all about avoiding pain and being 'happy in the Lord' even though the Bible says that He was 'a man of sorrows acquainted with grief'. Hurting is not a sign of spiritual weakness. It does not necessarily mean that something is wrong. 'Fools are in the house of laughter.' To leave it on the alter means that I will not obsess about solutions that are beyond my control. I will not become self-centered in pity or rage. I will gladly 'bear my cross daily' for the opportunity to relate to Christ in a deeper way. This is not to get rewards in heaven for giving up pleasures on earth like '72 dark eyed virgins'. It is so I can relate to God here.
- One side of the road is a ditch of 'riotous living' in which most people can see it's damaging effects. The other side of the street has a more suble ditch of 'complacency' in which a christian might sit in and brag 'I am not like this taxcollector' because his life is calm and comfortable unlike the 'sinner's' life which is turned upside down. But, both sides of the road shut down the Spirit equally and the complacent side is more damaging because the person is not usually aware that he is in a rut and is comfortable there. The person in the other ditch cannot suffer forever and so might 'come to himself' as the prodical son and return. This is why Paul encouraged that ditch over the complacent ditch when he said 'sin mightily' but John said of those in the complacent ditch that God would 'spew them out of His mouth'.
- Comfort can only be valued by a dead spirit.
- Good principles for inner healing or right living becaome idolatrous when they become the focus rather than just tools to know God better. p.56 Silence of Adam Their temptation comes from our desire to be in control. p.51 Silence of Adam
- Religion has gone from 'how can I do better' (legalists) to 'how can I feel better' (recovering addicts). p.56 Silence of Adam
- Christian music seems to be trying to connect with us instead of with You.
- The only way to find God is to find our emptiness. p.33 Silence of Adam
- The church spends more time learning about itself, marriage, parenting, etc.) than learning about You.
- Sometimes, 'I am here Lord' is the best prayer of all.
- 'I never want my prayer life to lapse into a monologue'. p.185 Sacred Pathways
- We say when times are easy that God is blessing us and when times are hard that the Devil is attacking us. We have it backward. Comfort is the main tool of the Devil. Turmoil is the main tool of God. The Devil knows that when times are hard that we will cry out to God and He will deliver us. He knows that when we are comfortable, we do not need God and our spirit falls asleep.
- Lord, forgive me for not being able to love those that are not pursuing You, for they are the ones You have called me to help. Help me to be more than a stirile counselor. Help me to be a friend.
- Good conselors do not heal but clear away confusion so as to introduce their spirit back to God. p.31 Sacred Pathways
- 'If you just can't seem to leave that one particular sin, you may find that the answer is very simple: You don't know how to be nourished according to the way God made you so you're seeking spiritual "junk food", in the form of sin or addictions, somewhere else. Finding fulfillment in God is the most powerful antidote to any sin.' p.30 Sacred Pathways
- Help me Lord, to invite You into every moment of my life, every activity. This is what fellowship is about more than a 'filling of the Spirit'. Chap 11 Renewing the Mind
- We give Satan respect that he does not deserve. He is not an opposing force to God. He is only a tool that God uses to mature us and bring us to Him. If we fear Satan, we do not trust God. p.103 Renewal of the Mind
- Sometimes we struggle with what is the 'will of God' and fret out past decisions wondering if we should have gone left when we went right. The truth is that if we made the choice in true submission to God, trying, to the best of our ability, to do what we felt was 'God's will' then we made the right choice regardless of whether we went right or left and God will bless us equally regardless of which path we chose. The only way to have gotten out of God's will would have been to chose the way that best suited us with little regard for what we know was God's intentions in our lives. 'God's will' is a matter of the heart, not of action. When we submit to God, He will make it work out.
- A woman's long hair is her 'crown of glory' meaning it has an effect on men that causes us to give respect for her femininity in modesty far more than the respect that other women try to get for the femininity through inmodesty.
- It is difficult to say whether things are going 'good' or 'bad so this is not a good way to judge the will of God.
- All revelations must have Christ as center stage or else pride in knowledge take over and the victory is temporary because it is not by the strength of the Spirit. This happens by exposing all error as opposed to divine love and to motivate change by elevating divine love with passion.
- Religion is about fear and therefore control. Love is about courage and therefore opposes religion. Love should therefore, not be shunned by men but championed by them.
- Hebrews 2:15 'And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.' The purpose of religion is to prevent change. When we trust in God instead of our own beliefs and perceptions, it will feel like death but it frees us of fear. It is the death of self.
- Christianity has taken on the Greek view that the physical body is less than the soul and so the physical world is less than the spiritual. We need to re-attach that wire between the physical and spiritual in our mind so that all three parts of us are participating whether we are helping someone in need or having sex with our spouse.
- '(name) sure is critical of (name) but he isn't any better. What a hypocrite.' It is not a threat that God will remove His Grace if we don't behave. Remember the parable of the man who was forgiven a large debt but could not forgive the small debt that was owed to him. Only God is qualified to judge and He has forgiven. Who among us is qualified to cast the first stone. When we fully grasp the debt we have been forgiven, the tamptation to judge is over. 'It is God who works in us both to will and do of His good pleasure.'
- The Bible says that if we judge others, that we will be judged. This is not so much a threat as it is a pattern. If we cannot see God's grace as a free gift to others, we will not be able to accept it for ourselves. We not only judge ourselves, but we invite others to judge us also.
- Shy of the gospel and the inerrant Word of God, none of our beliefs should be sacred cows. By definition of spiritual growth, God rarely works with us within our belief system. Sacred cows prevent God from growing us. Sacred cows are idols. In order to be a disciple of Christ, we must be willing to put our religion on the altar. Who of us, if we could sit down to a chat with Jesus about present day politics and religion would not be offended or ticked off within an hour? Our comfort and security is God alone, not our beliefs or religious affiliation.
- I picture a house church that splits into several missions each with a leader. All the leaders meet together once a week to encourage, give advice etc. People are free to move from group to group or be a part of a couple of groups. The groups are to have a definite time limit or goal so that groups are disolving and forming all the time. The whole group meets periodically for direction, forming new groups, celebrating the completion of a group, introducing new members, getting acquainted with other groups to see if they would like to move, and fellowship. A group of networked house churches, each with a particular outreach. The only permanent group would be the nursery for new believers but the membership would be constantly changing as each graduate gets paired with a 'parent'.
- This may at first sound like blasphemy, but submission to Jesus is a feminization of christianity. 'Wives submit yourselves to your husband'. The result is that we wait for God to bring the enemy to us rather than, as David who slew 300 Philistines for Michael, we are proactive and charge out into the night in search of demons. Waiting and hoping that they do not come our way is not a warrior spirit.
- The church needs to go from an army of B-B guns to double 0 buckshot.
- My job is to give vision and inspiration, specifically to men. To take the burden off of women. This vision is general. The church is perishing without a vision (purpose). The purpose has been replaced with programs. This makes cookie cutter churches. The Baptist are best at this. Instead, let each person be led by God to find their own vision inside the bigger, general vision. So what if nobody wants to be the youth pastor. Let another church do that. Each church should be unique. When we combine all of the individual visions of the people that God calls together, the purpose of the church fleshes out. Forget duties and responsibilities. The leadership role (not me) is to combine all of the individual visions under the main vision to make a well oiled machine. Too many see the churches as competition (church hopping helps this idea) and so they fail as though they have to cover all the bases in order to attract the numbers. I like to look at us special forces for specific jobs, best done by small groups (house church). No vision can stand alone. It may not even be complete enough by itself to make sense. They must all be 'fitly joined together'.
- My gifts allow me to inspire with vision. But I need a man who has the gift of leadership to make it happen.
- Most false teaching revolves around trying to conform truth to us so that we can be comfortable. However, we are to conform to truth, not the other way around. If truth is not greater than us, then what is the purpose of pursuing it? We might as well just make our own truth 'every man doing what is right in his own eyes'.
- Lord, forgive me for desiring the gifts in order to rescue my life. To want to use them to give meaning to my despair. They are Your gifts to further the kingdom, whether they bring me profit or pain.
- It is important that I do not obsess about being right or wrong or doing the right thing as long as I am searching for God's heart on the matter. His will will be done nevertheless. However, I will try to confirm what I believe to be right with the Word and others to save me some trouble.
- I must give up my desire to be special, to be appreciated finally. God has called me to an office that many hold in high esteem but I must serve that office covertly. God puts on my heart (and soul through feelings) someone's problems. I pray for forgiveness and perspective to purge the same sin out of my life as I pray for the same perceptive change in the other. They call me to tell me what God has told them about themselves and their problem that was keeping them from loving others less selfishly. I relate to their problem by sharing my struggle with it since I just went through it. They feel at ease with me since I am no better than them and they open up more. I fill in the details of what God shared with me and they are helped more completely. I never get more credit than being a good sounding board. If they knew all that was happening, they would falsely give me credit and be too intimidated to share. I must remain just the basket case that cares.
- Religion says to 'get our act (testimony) together' and we will draw all men to us but Jesus says that 'If I be lifted up, I will draw all men to me'. Our brokeness reflects Jesus' attitude and is what draws. If people admire me then I am failing.
- To refrain from sin is to shut our heart down and avoid coming to the cross. We may have avoided the immediate effects of the sin that we refrained from, but the seed is planted and grows within us. As we reach out, instead of having the bunker mentality, we are more protected instead of less because when we open our heart to others shortcomings, we expose our own. Jesus was able to allow the prostitute to wash His feet with her tears because He had already dealt with the rejection of the 5,000 who just wanted food rather than Him, etc. This ability to open our hearts to others with a supernatural love/strength touches lives.
- Intercession involves me going to the cross through Gethsemane for the sake of another. (II Corinthians 4:11-12) My disgust (Godly sorrow) for the sin causes me to weep at Lazarus' tomb but joy is the result as the Lord's death works in us (me) for the one I intercede for. The sorrow, the joy and the results come from God.
- I was humiliated yesterday to see myself being unsafe to someone opening up to me by me trying to preach rather than 'come along side'.
- Christians have developed a doctrine called 'testimony'. It says that we, as individuals, are to get our act together and then lead others how to do the same. The Bible says that we are to be broken and let our brokeness lead others to be broken also. This is the compassionate way.
- I have found myself more passionate about a particular truth than I am about the person that I am sharing it with. That comes across as judgemental and preachy. It shuts down interactive dialog. My validation is not whats' important.
- Lord, help me to remember that it is not my job to fix someone by revealing to them all of their faults that You show me. I am only to set them on the path of discovery as You direct. That way, I am less confrontive and threatening. Also, they are less likely to forget the lesson if You show it to them rather than me lecture it to them. p.79 Elijah Task
- I ask forgiveness for praying in order to find purpose in my pain, pride in my accomplishments and understanding rather than humbly allowing You to speak through me for the purpose of Your kingdom.
- As I find myself surrounded by needy, self-centered people that are dedicating their lives to a religious pursuit of their own needs, I have to ask myself - am I attracted to these people and they to me because I have a lot in common with them? Should I be encouraged rather than hurt that they no longer want to be around me? Is this a repeat of the purging of relationships that happened when I left (place)? So if I want to be surrounded by people that actually understand what love is, maybe I need to understand it myself.
- As I have said before, christians are much more obsessed with sin than God. He is much more interested that we open our spirits and discover our identity and corporate destiny. However, the religious institution is more concerned about coralling passions and desires to keep an ever more restless congregation in check. The result is that the very thing that is feared, happens. The answer, instead, is to use our passions as a guide to God and the identity and purpose He has for us. In order to stay safe, we must look past the overwhelming physical urges to the emotional and ultimately the spiritual desires to see our core needs that appear on the surface as just an urges to sin. An example of this is the prodical son who did it the hard way and went through the physical to the emotional and ultimately matured in the spiritual. The Father praises him rather than the over-good older son, regardless of his messy path, because the Father was mostly interested in him coming into his own which the older son did not. Therefore, the fellowship with the father was only enjoyed by the prodical son. chap.18 Transformation 'If we live in the Spirit, we will not satisfy the deeds of the flesh.' This is the easy route that avoids peer pressure and allows the ever more rare individualization, without individualization, christianity is no different than a cult. When a culture tries to control behaviour and prevent individualization, it is a cult. People come to the idol on Sunday morning, give their offering and confess their sins and worship it in song in hopes that their prayers will be answered and that they will have good fortune rather than bad. God wants a relationship. He says, 'If you want to appease Me, give all you have to the poor and follow Me'. God is not impressed with our tokens of obeisance. He wants intimacy. It is better that we stumble on the steps up to His throne than to bury our talent in obeisance. I will not accept the accusations of Satan either directly or indirectly through christians on my quest to divine intimacy. As I said before, I would rather stand exposed in error in His divine light (love) than righteous on the dark fringes. True love is not possible without individualization and disclosure.
- The distinguishing mark to identify truth is that is sets our mind free rather than entraps our thoughts causing division and hatred.
- It is not my job to convict people of their sin. It is my job to love them into the light so they can see it for themselves.
- To have an awakened spirit is to be willing to have our own conscience hurt before we hurt another. It is not human to mess up, it is inhuman such as street gangs filled with fatherless boys. p.271 Transformation
- I want people to want to be with me just to be with me, but because I am performance oriented, I have trained them to want me for what I can offer. Lord, help me find my identity apart from performance.
- Teach me, Lord, how, instead of convicting people of being in the dark, to seduce them into the light.
-Many sins that we see as passive (omission) are really offensive (commission) because it causes us to withold the love that God has given us to share. Therefore, is there really a sin of omission? We call it 'letting go' but it is an attack the way that David killed Bathsheba's husband because to reject a fellow soldier in battle is a hideous thing. Everything looks more ugly in the light (love) of God. Help me, Lord, not to resort to 'tough love' so quickly as do the christians.
- When we sow, we reap a hundred fold according to the law that God set up, whether for good or evil. So even though it is His idea and His strength we still get rewarded a hundred fold. Even though it is our sin, He urges us to confess so that He 'reaps the whirlwind' on the cross. Frank Kelly
- Lord, help me to not use the information that You give me about other people in order to counsel them as a means of control and power or authority over them. I want to be their friend.
- As a counselor, God reveals to me the inner struggles of His people as I humble myself to relate to those shortcomings. This does not mean that I am to corner the person and drag them into the light by exposing their sins to them. This is too much like psychology which says that once we see a problem we can stop it from happening and change it. My job is not to fix, but rather to guide the hurting to see what God is directing them to see in the pain. I do not need to spell it out in detail, they just need to see it enough to agree that it is sin and that they do not want it anymore. Once they see that this sin is causing the pain, they will have the encouragement to take it to the cross and confess so God can 'cleanse of all unrighteoeousness'. Once they have done this, they will be free and full of joy. Encouraging people to the cross is my part. All sin blocks love from God and others. Exposing the sin in this light is much less judgemental. They need to see the pain caused by the blockage of love not only in themselves but the pain that it causes those around them and God.
- When christians lose love, only law is left which was intended only to be used to control the love.
- In order for the Spirit to flow through me, it has to flow out to others.
- Lord, thank You for (name) confirmation that You have called me to exhort. He prayed that my edges could be smoothes out. I know thay my roughness is due to my bitterness. Help me to end it.
- Light is not knowledge, as religion teaches us - it is the glory of God. II Corinthians 4:16 It is not just revelation, but the 'knowledge of the glory of God'. John 8:12 Jesus said, 'I am the light of the world'. 'For the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts.' Romans 5:5 It is our armour. Romans 13:12 We are to be the 'light of the world.' Matthew 5:14 Satan transforms himself 'into an angel of light'. II Corinthians 11:14 His biggest deception is not of the mind but of the heart. 'He that loveth his brother abideth in the light.' I John 2:10 'Let your light shine before men.' Matthew 5:16 Does that mean to wow them with knowledge? This is why the church is as a candlestick that God can take back. John 3:19-21 Evil doers flee from the light because God's grace shines on the evil heart. Nothing exposes sin like grace.
- It is easy for goody-two-shoes who have never messed up to be performance oriented because they have never felt the full extent of grace.
- What will free me from my depression will be letting go fully of performance-oriented thinking. Striving with my self identity causes depression.
- When institutional christians say to get plugged in, they are referring to supporting one of the endless programs or chores. Then they are accepted and loved (performance-oriented). It is more important to get connected to people. What would happen if there were no programs, no worship team, no staff - just a mob and lots of food. Pople could minister to each other through caring, sharing and praying. Music would be spontaneous. No enldless tasks to perform.
- Christians are the most dangerous people. They are the worst at being able to do community. They routinely use the scriptures to apply divine authority to their issues so that they can do the most vile and cruel things to themselves, each other and to others without conscience. Things that would disgust the heathen who have no guide. I believe the average christian would be better off just throwing away their Bible and working off of gut instinct. Most would be more compassionate and closer to God assuming their spirit (conscience) is working at all.
- Galations 3:1,2
~ We are only rearranging furniture
~ We are not better and never will be. In fact, the closer we get to understanding ourselves, by God's wisdom, the worse we look.
~ When we strive to do better, we have no concept of our evilness. Once we have a clean view of ourselves the more hopeless self reformation gets.
~ 'Well, God will help me' - no He wont. The old man must die. Brokeness allows us to come to Him as little children - I can't do it.
~ 'Not I but Christ'
~ 'When I am weak, then am I strong.'
~ God does not smile on our good works or frown at our sins.
~ 'The first shall be last and the last first.'
~ We don't get more and more spiritual - just more broken.
~ Clay - He does it.
~ 'My yoke is easy'
~ The pressures off.
~ Instead of figuring out the 'right way' accept that 'I (God) am the way'.
~ It's all about connecting with God and His people.
~ 'He worketh in us both to will and to do ...'
~ Ought's and should's are over
- What good is a heightened discernment if I do not use it to feel people's pain better?
- How insulting to God is a religion that gives Him credit to be able to do all things yet states that He will only do a limited amount of things. It would be kinder to say that He is incompetent than that He is uncaring.
- I know Lord, that You are not calling me to be a good vessel, just an empty one. I submit to being emptied.
- It's not God that needs to get into Revival, it is us. It would be very encouraging to see Your hand move, but it would be even more encouraging to see us move. To see our hearts change. Then we could see You moving. It is our blindness, not Your inactivity. There is no sense in You demonstrating Yourself if we are not watching.
- Lord, help me to show truth by living it, not by speaking against error.
- The Spirit moves when God's people humble themselves to His divine soul searching, not as individuals only, but as a group. Doing away with 'christian fellowship' and truly connecting in our desire to improve our perspective as God reveals our hearts. Religion trys to shortcut the soul searching and instead dreams up a 'ministry' or 'program'. We hope that God will be impressed enough with our ideas and efforts to take it over. But, when a group truly seeks God, His Spirit can move freely and things can happen without any obvious external efforts. All revivals happen this way. Help us, Lord, to give our hearts and not just our actions. God is not a horse that we can build a harness for. Pentecost says wait on God. Many chose the better part. It's hard to let go of the reigns. God is soon going to burn the 'wood, hay and stubble' of religion. When the disciples offered Him the beautiful temple, Jesus said it would be tore down so that 'not one stone would be on another'.
- Help me, Lord, to enjoy the process and not just the outcome of projects.
- Help me, Lord, to see my battle with the devil in creating things that reflect life from Your perspective (or at least one of them) as a positive thing and not as survival.
- Getting healed from my demons (lust, resentment) does not depend on how intense I pray but on my willingness to be healed (lame man by pool of Saloam). No, I don't have to get religious and try to want it bad enough to deserve it. Willingness just requires humility to see the extent of my need and my inability to do anything about it. Humility means working in community. James 5:16 The 'effectual, fervent prayer' promise is based on confession and prayer in community. 'Effectual, fervent' means working, not to 'do it right' but to share in humility.
- It takes the same amount of humility to give properly as it does to receive. To be gracious requires the humility to see myself in the receiver position but for God's grace. I would not like to receive anything from someone who was not willing to also receive. I could not trust their motives. Points with God? Pride and love cannot coexist. God is the best example of loving humility. Help me, Lord, to be able to give graciously. I know it is possible to give cruelly.
- Help me, Lord, not to be deafened to Your voice because I am looking for only religious instruction. I am looking forward to the time when we can talk about anything.
- Help me, Lord, to avoid labels, for myself or others, in order to avoid controversy and to focus on You.
- One explanation of how religion fell into legalism (there are many) is that the devil has drawn them out of the castle to fight in the open field, leaving the castle open for attack. The castle is our heart and God has provided His armour to protect it. The devil stirs up threats in the external with fads, trends, etc. Well meaning christians rush out to oppose this threat with external means. God did not promise to protect the externals. Once we focus on the externals, our heart is open for attack.
- Religion says to avoid passion because it leads to temptation (meeting the passion through immoral means). But our passion comes from our pain due to unmet needs, etc. The pain comes from sin, either our own or someone elses. Therefore, to avoid passion is to avoid dealing with our root sins.
- How do I give into passion without giving into self-gratification? Perhaps, by giving into the pain which increases along wiht the passion as my sensitivity increases. The pain will remind me of my deepest longings which can only be met by God.
- Nothing destroys passion more than religion. Without an outlet, passion leads to rebellion from God either in chasing desires or legalism. Both are self-focused. Religion sees pain as evil, but in order to embrace passion, we must embrace pain. Both lead us to God.
- Why did God give me such an amorous woman? He seems to be fueling the fire. He doesn't seem to be half as afraid of passion as I am. Maybe fear of passion is the more dangerous perspective. Help me Lord to have faith that You will not let me go astray if I release my passion. Indeed, holding onto my passion will lead me astray.
- Institutional thinking focuses on the external. God focuses on the internal. Man marvels at David killing Goliath. Goliath was just unfortunate enough to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. He accidentally crossed paths with a christian who was totally submitted and in tune with God. That was the big event. Killing Goliath was just an invevitable consequence and just the last couple hours of a 10 year walk with God. David was the only one with righteous indignation.
- Life is not about balance. all things are of God. I just need to approach them in a worshipful attitude. Balance is just about legalism. 'Do all thing as unto the Lord.'
- Our society has created a 'castrated christianity' as God put it this morning. Through the guitar, clothes, exercise, hiking, and sandrail, God showed me an image of myself that would break that stereotype so that being 'good' did not mean harnessing my manhood. Thank You Lord.
- Lord, help me to remember to not judge my spiritual state by how much You speak to me or by how much I do, but just to keep my motives focused on You.
- Thank You Lord. (name)'s explanation makes sense. The trouble is due to baggage not sin. Help me to deal with my baggage.
- June 26 - The Utmost for His Highest - 'It is not a question of praying and asking God to help you - it is taking the grace of God now. We tend to make prayer the pereparation of our service, yet it is never that in the Bible. Prayer is the practice of drawing on the grace of God.'
- Forgive me Lord that, as Peter, I am putting my desires above You. It was with good intentions that he opposed Christ when he talked about His death, but Christ used unusually harsh language to rebuke him by saying, 'Get behind me Satan'. When I pursue intimacy with You, I am doing the same thing. I am putting my desires above Yours. Help me Lord to desire what You desire and to pursue Your purposes more than intimate time with You. As a result, I am sure that the intimacy will happen at the time and in the way that You see best.
- Forgive me Lord for taking charge of the devotions and daily prayers. Help me to listen before I speak and allow You to set the direction and subject.
- Forgive me Lord for looking at our relationship as a means of preparing me for some great work in the future. Help me to see it more as a means of intimacy at this moment.
- Mark 10:29-30
- In my quest to be of use to God, to have a purpose, I focus on developing a skill. Makes sense on an earthly level. But Christ said to 'consider the lilies of the field' Matthew 6:28 which provide a great ministry by just being, not by doing. When I focus on God, He changes me and my changed life, much more than my advice or service, has the influence to change hearts. I may not even be aware of it's effect. The Utmost for His Highest May 18
- Forgive me Lord for seeing the purpose for You working in my life as a means for me to get what I want and need rather than as a means of glorifying You and drawing people to You.
- Ephesians 12:1,2 My purpose is found when I find God's perfect will which I find by renewing my mind which happens when I offer myself to God as a sacrifice. Help me Lord not to demand but to submit.
- I will seek Your face in the face of thers. This will keep me from making projects out of them.
- Help me Lord to understand intimacy with You better. Forgive me for coming to devotions to learn about You rather than to just love You and enjoy time together. How do we relate outside of trying to solve a problem or accomplishing a purpose? How do we fellowship just for the joy of it? Teach me as you walk me through this relationship with (name).
- Forgive me Lord for desiring a purpose more than You.
- Lord, help me to watch and see where You are working and join in rather than trying to figure out how to serve You.
- Forgive me Lord for looking at Your purpose as the changing of my life to fulfill what I was meant to be and do. Thank You for reminding me that Your purpose has a much more global scope and that my change to come to fulfillment of my identity is just one part of the whole scheme and plan. I am just one player. It's not all about me.
- Psalms 32:9 Help me Lord not to submit to You as a horse with a bridle submits but with my whole heart which wants what You want. You have graciously given us the dignity to share Your passion as we serve You. Help me to submit my heart to You and not just my actions. The first part of this Psalm talks about You being our shelter. This second part of the Psalm shows that You cannot be our shelter unless we trust You. Forgive me for trying to dictate the design of the shelter. The main material the shelter is made of is divine passion. I love You. Forgive me Lord for trying to build a shelter out of my own desires. Thank You Lord for my custom made shelter of passion.
- Lord, thank You for showing us that our stumblings are not Your main focus, but rather our heart. As You lead us to dance on the high ground in the enemies camp as passionate people, we will stumble. Our walk won't look near as orderly as someone in the safe institutional valley. That is scary but exciting. Help us to focus 'not on the outward appearance, but on the heart'.
- Oh Lord, thank You for starting to fulfill Your promise of giving me discernment. Help me not to use it to counsel others as much as to intercede for them in prayer.
- Oh Lord, when You do not move in me there is no life to be found. I am base, selfish, needy and have nothing to say as a string puppet on a wall. But in Your amazing, unselfish grace, You take me up and make me dance. People are amazed and they love me and they love You. I just pray that You always let them see the strings and even more important, always let me see the strings. Help me to always wait on You and not try to dance on my own. You promise them that I will soar like an eagle - just with strings. Help me to cherish the strings and not resist them. They free me and never bind me. A puppet should never get tired. Help me that my motivation to dance is so people will love You more than love me. It's confusing when they are always watching me as You hide behind the curtain. I cherish Your touch. I love to dance for You even if there is no audience. Please expose any sticky joints in me so You can fix them. Help me to always remember that those I love have strings too. This kills the performance anxiety, the shame, the competition. Help me to celebrate their dance and enjoy their dance as much as I do my own and not be jealous. May my dances inspire others to be tied up in You so we can all dance together.
- Help me Lord to not get caught up in the religious functionality of religion. Help me not to crave a release from guilt put on me by 'saints' or myself but to crave You alone.
- As Caleb in his old age, we too do not choose the easy land in the valley but choose the Devil's stronghold in the high ground where the giants live. As with Caleb, we are by Your grace, as strong as we were in our youth. The Devil has chosen all the best ground to setup camp such as sexual passion, exercise, natural living and the arts (such as music) to name a few. The christian community has far too long avoided these areas and settled for the easier life in the valley which has left no place for their passions but in materialism and media entertainment. Without passion, the institutional church has bean overrun with administrative types that mirror it to the business hierarchial structure. It has been so for so long that many 'religious people' associate passion with sin as did the early Greeks who condemned the flesh and all earthly things as 'carnel'. An extreme example is the muslims who prefer to cover their women in bercas and cut on themselves. I know I am speaking as a right-brain person. there is nothing wrong with left-brain gifts such as administration for all gifts are equally valuable. But let us serve God with a 'whole heart'. Oh Lord, let the intensity of the passion that You have given (name) and I in our older age be a testimony to You. That when people see us, they can see You as the passionate God that You are. Help us not to shun or fear passion but to integrate it fully into one christian walk with You. It can be argued that this is a more dangerous position to hold but I feel that complacency is much more dangerous.
- When we know God, we will love Him. Love causes trust. When we trust Him, we will obey Him. Once we obey Him, we will trust Him more. This leads to more love and ultimately to a better knowledge of Him. 'If you love me you will do my commandments'. John 14:24
- Exodus 17:8-15 The Lord is our banner - Who we honor, serve, represent. Help us Lord to keep our hands lifted, as Joshua, to You and to Your promise that we will have the victory. The battle is not won by sacrifice or determination. Just praise. All other things, if called upon, come from that.
- Because of their refusal to believe, He was unable to perform any miracles there...' Matthew 13:58 Mark 6:5
- Letter to the group. If I have a wonderful experience with God under an oak tree one morning, it would be tempting for me to go to that oak tree the next morning. that may even be a good idea. But if God is not willing to meet me under that tree at that time of day, then I should stop the practice. To continue so would be to idolize the situation. I will not worship the oak tree, the morning time or even the wonderful feelings that I had there with God. For that reason, I left the traditional church. I will not idolize a denomination as a type of worship, including house church. At the same time, I will not condemn those things that God has chosen to use in the past. I believe that God is still using, to some degree, the traditional church, and in even a mighty way, the house church. However, I don't feel God under the oak tree anymore. I will not cling with nostalgia to what God has left behind. I hope I do not sound condescending by stating the obvious. For my own sake, I felt it important to state my intentions for meeting up front. I will not invent or revert back to old ways in hopes of wooing God's favor or presence. Where God leaves a gap, I am willing to leave a gap. I am used to waiting on God. I waited 7 years for direction from God when He directed me finally to the house church and (name). I am waiting 6 months (I hope that's it) to marry (name). I will wait for God's direction as far as church structure. In the mean time, I cherish the opportunity to take the one step that He has made obvous, fellowship. Thank you (name) and (name) for guiding us into this first step.
- In order to live in a state of righteousness, peace, and joy, one thing I need to do is not cram too much go-do's into a short period of time.
- 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' Hosea 6:6 Lord, help me to not measure my deeds and especially not by the amount they cost me.
- Thank You Lord for perspective. For showing me that I focus on You in the midst of a crowd while You are being silent by focusing on others. Trying to focus directly on You is just focusing on me. There is no room in love for jealousy when You come to others. When You do use me it is not a sign of approval. It is selfish to want the spiritual experiences to myself. As I look to the needs of others in my prayers, I trust that You will direct my development.
- Thank You Lord for reminding me to not measure my spirituality by the number of 'spiritual encounters'. My spitituality is measured by my care for others if it can be measured at all. It is hard not to doubt my standing with You when You come to (name) so much. I will not take Your encounters as kudos. You have already made it clear to me that You love me in many ways. Forgive me for doubting it.
- Matthew 15:9; Mark 7:7 'But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.' Help me Lord to find true worship apart from tradition.
- Help me Lord to be a reflection of Your refuge to guide people into Your rest by reflecting 'righteousness joy, and peace' in such a way that people naturally want to open up. Not so I can play counselor, but that people can accept Your healing.
- Help me Lord to not get so busy following Your path that I forget to follow You.
- I find that a worship service is anything but. If it is worship, then why does the object of the exercise seem to be to get a warm fuzzy. We think that if we grovel enough, God will fill us with His Spirit. As You have shown me before Lord, help me not to be so handsy and so obsessed with orgasms. It is enough to sit in silence on the porch swing with You. I have noticed that we have not had a lot of warm fuzzy moments lately, but You have never been so real. I will not measure my relationship to You by the number of intimate moments. When You want something done, You don't cover me with kisses. You just say it. If it is something scary, then You may say it with a hug. I have not forgotten our two weeks of silence together. Your Spirit has been with me since You saved me. I will not insult the blessedness of Your presence by loud chants calling on You to come. (name) calls it spiritual masturbation.
- Lord, help me to accept Your acceptance. Just because You don't use me doesn't mean You reject me. That is hard to accept.
- Lord, help us that our church services are not about us - how much of the Spirit's warm and fuzzies we get, how much prayers and support from others we get, or how much we learn. It is about how much Your kingdom is furthered and how much I am changed to think less of my pain and be more loving and think of others so that I can play my part in furthering that kindom. I am also convicted by how much time I spend in my devotions focused on improving my problems. Help me Lord to focus on You so I can walk on the water. I will never overcome my pain as long as it is my main goal.
- John 13:35 'By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one for another.' This was confusing to me because it seemed that that is all the church did was care for it's own and no one else. But it says to 'have love'. This is not a practical, functional thing but a condition of the heart. Verses 3-4 say 'as I have loved you'. This does not mean to remember to pray for, to give of money or even time. It means to hurt when I hurt and to rejoice when I rejoice. This is the 'new commandment'. If I took a poll on the street asking what was the one thing that comes to mind when you think of a christian, I doubt love would be at the top. Wouldn't it be nice if that were the biggest criticism the world had for christians - that they loved too much? Help me Lord to love as You love. This is the only way to revival.
- One of the hardest things to deal with is when nothing is happening. I start second guessing myself. Maybe I don't love God enough. Then I start second guessing God. Mybe He doesn't love me enough. Help me Lord to do neither. Help me to maintain Your space.
- I Peter 4:8 'Love covers a multitude of sins.' The focus of this verse is not God loving us, although it definitely applies, but our love to others. There is only one love which we are invited to share in. This scripture seems to say that it is much more effective to focus on love than on elliminating sin. This makes sense since it causes us to focus on others in a selfless way. My spirituality is not about me.
- 'Principles are what people have instead of God. To be a christian means among other things to be willing if necessary to sacrifice even our highest principles for God's or our neighbor's sake the way a christian pacifist must be willing to pick up a baseball bat if there's no other way to stop a man from savagely beating a child. Jesus didn't forgive his executioners on principle but because in some unimaginable way, He was able to love them. 'Principle' is an even duller word than 'Religion'. July 2 Listening to Your Life
- When a black Islam iman in Chicago's black district was asked why he converted from christianity to Islam he said, 'Islam offers a way for emasculated men to become something. Christianity, on the other hand is a welfare religion - Jesus paid it all- and my people don't need that'. p.77 The Last of the Giants
- We are living our lives between Good Friday and Easter Sunday on Saturday, the day with no name. Philip Yancey
- 'Something is missing from our lives that we cannot even name - something we know best from the empty place inside us all where it belongs. We come here (church) to find what we have lost.' p.155 Listening to Your Life Frederick Buechner
- I have, within myself, all the bad characteristics of a traditional church - separate, critical, lazy, religious, and shallow. Help me Lord not to be an obstical to You.
- In Matthew 25, Jesus tells us that the way we treat the poor and sick is how we treat Him. I find it easier, in my selfish thinking, to love Jesus than the poor because He has the power to change my life for the better. However, don't the poor, as representatives of Jesus, have the same power?
- Lord, help me not to try to teach everyone into Your kingdom or to walk with You better. Teaching is the gift, the strength that You have given me and so is my choice weapon. You prefer me to use love. That is Your strength and my weakness. This is where revival will come from.
- Most christian music is about us praising God rather than God loving us. Lost are not attracted to our 7-11 music (7 words sung 11 times).
- Henri Nouwen said that spiritual growth is going from untrue certainties to true uncertainties.
- Ever since Yancy's remark about church being for the saved instead of the lost, I have lost interest in the traditional church. I see it as my cage. I like my cage for me but I see it doesn't help the lost. I am so institutionalized. I don't want to leave my cage. I don't know what to do with my freedom. I will go and look for a house church since they more closely match the original church at Jerusalem. The group format will allow God to be in charge. Help me Lord.
- Prayer is more important than I think. Why is my devotions always about learning. I can pray.
- Help me Lord not to be black-and-white with my relationships with people. Thank You for showing me that I do not socialize with people that I have a disageement with.
- The world is divided between sin and love, tragedy and joy, punishment and mercy. Where the two sides meet is the answer to this conflict - the gospel. April 30 Listen to Your Life Buechner
- Help me Lord not to take Your work on my shoulders but instead be thankful and enjoy the priveledge of being allowed to participate in the small way that You have offered me.
- Spirituality is not about figuring it out, overcoming temptations or a series of accomplishments or skills. It is being. Being is being in love.
- We are so exclusive that we would be doing good just to include everyone in our congregation, let alone those outside.
- We need to meet where the people are meeting. They are not going to come to us.
- Not to sound critical, but for most of the community around our church, the only sign that we are alive is the cars that show up in the parking lot on Sundays.
- If Jesus came to Tucson, I do not see our church in the middle of the action.
- Part of me says that we are not well suited for reaching the poor community. This is what is most convicting of all.
- It's interesting to see that Jesus did most of His teaching to the masses. And when He spoke to the masses, He never did it from a church building. It was in open land (park) or at someone's house. Perhaps this was less intimidating. Then government would resist us coming out of our 'sanctuary'. One sign that we are on the right track.
- Lord, help me to stop measuring how close I am to You by how well I am dealing with life's trials (how happy I am) but instead measure it by how loving I am (less self-centered).
- The attitude of our church is reflected in it's location. It is centrally located between the members on the better side of town. Shouldn't the location be set in a location that is convenient for those we wish to reach? Jesus avoided the good neighborhoods. why are we spending our time trying to force camels through needles? Our church appears to be set up to attract christians more than the lost.
- Yancey asks in 'The Jesus I Never Knew' why Jesus related so well to the poor and needy and not to the religious yet the church is the opposite. Why aren't we attractive to them? I notice that first, Jesus met their medical needs (dental, pediatric, prenatal, geriatric, etc.). Then He met their physical (hunger), Then He met their spiritual by addressing their pain and showing them that God cares (You are not the product of evolution, me and mine. Survival of the fittest is not the road to happiness). We are competing against a secular government. Nearly all of these people are victims of addictions (drug, alcohol, sex) - another competition. We have to compete with cable. Most are hispanic. Maybe a packet of food, medical supplies, toiletries customized for street people, old people, single moms, etc. Many resent authority because they are from split homes. The church spends so much time trying to meet it's own needs, but this is it's need - to help others. Once we have developed a heart for giving love rather than trying to get love, we would not need anymore marriage seminars, parenting seminars, how to know God better seminars, etc. Just like an individual, the spiritual growth of the church will happen when we stop focusing on it and start focusing on others. This would destroy the not-so-untrue myth that christians are out of touch with reality, more interested in stamping out sin than hunger and disease. That we lack passion. That we are more like an elite club rather than a refuge. All of our societies ills can be traced to 'self-ism'. The best way we can help them is by example. Right now, we are not 'separate'. We just coat our lifestyle in religion and then condemn them for not following that example. Now I know why I need to learn spanish. Now it is time for revival.
- I don't want to sound judgemental or sexist, but I see a pattern. Once a woman gets a tast of bitterness, it is like cocaine. I have never seen any woman cured of it. Help me Lord to not let it take root and grow in me.
- When I hear myself or others say, 'I just want to please God', I see pride, not humility. I hear Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount say, 'Be perfect'. Forgive me Lord for putting words in Your mouth, but it sounds as if You are saying, 'You don't know who you are talking to'.
- In the light of the awsomeness of God as seen by people such as Tolstoy and Luther, validation becomes obscene.
- If learning has anything at all with embracing god, it is un-learning that has been, by far, the most useful.
- Being spiritual is not knowing more or sinning less. It is lovng more. God is love.
- Help me Lord not to divide life into sacred and secular, mundane and holy. Help me to find meaning in all things. Help me to treat meaning like mana - enjoy it in the now and not hang onto it. Help me to live a sacrimental life. Sacriment - physical object with meaning attached.
- The second stage - 'Love of God for one's own sake' has many disadvantages of which I experience them all. My love for God varies according to how much I am getting out of the relationship. My success in dealing with attachments varies in the same way. My love for others also varies in the same way because it's motive is about what I am getting out of it.
- We can be distracted by being overly concerned with virtues and vices and forget our primary task of tending to our soul through prayer, which is nothing other than loving attentiveness.
- The three steps of spiritual development:(Larry Crabb)
'You are all I have'
'You are all I need'
'You are all I want'
spiritual development restated:
'Love of self for one's own sake'
'Love of God for one's own sake'
'Love of God for God's sake'
'Love of self for God's sake'
- Help me Lord to stop measuring my spiritual growth in terms of success or failure, accomplishments and goals but instead 'abide in Your love'. As Gerald May says, it is not God and me but God in me and me in God.
- 'To love righteousness is to make it grow, not to avenge it.' George MacDonald
- Help me Lord to remember that 'contemplative presence' with You or being awake is for being more in tune with You not to help me do it better. Changing my heart to be more loving is a byproduct of Your presence.
- Help me Lord to stop seeing life as a balance of self made departments of myself and just yield to You.
- Lord, help me to once again come back to seeing You as an ends in itself rather than trying to manipulate You to be a means to an end. The beginning christian asks if he can worship You without giving up his addictions. Later. after much defeat, he asks whether worshipping You will get You to give him those desires. Finally, after no success, he realizes that the pain of unfulfilled longings is the path to You. 'Consecration is the bridge between reformation and transformation.' p.162 Addiction and Grace Help me to consecrate my depression and my loneliness to You. Help me to not see You as a substitute for my addictions by defining spiritual moments as everything that feels good. p.150 Addiction and Grace Instead I consecrate myself to You with my pain as a pleasing offering to You and allow those moments together in the pain to soften me as the flame softens the candle so You can mold me to be in touch with the loving person that You created me as. Help me Lord that my pain could be not just a constant remindeer of You but that it be my worship to You. p.148 Awakened Heart
- Oh lord, in my search for You may I also find myself, the loving person that You made me.
- 'Good and evil, in the moral sense, do not reside in things, but always in persons. Things and events, whether fortunate or unfortunate, are simply what they are, morally neutral. What matters is the way we react to them. Only rarely are we the masters of events, but (along with those who help us) we are responsible for our reactions...Events give us pain or joy, but our growth is determined by our personal response to both, by our inner attitude.' p.281 Paul Tournier Reaching for the Invisible God
- Whenever I start thinking of myself as spiritual, all I have to do is stop and 'spend time with the Lord' and see how quickly I lose focus and become distracted.
- Forgive me Lord for struggling so hard to get You to be present with me. Remind me throughout the day to be in Your presence, to 'practice the presence of God' more and more constantly.
- Lord, help me not to constantly torment myself with concerns about whether I am 'doing it right'. Fretting about whether we are close or not based on all kinds of false assumptions such as we are close when You are teaching me something so I can write in this journal. Obviously our relationship is about much more than You teaching me. When will I accept that we are always close? Help me to always be awake so I can see You better. Not only during devotions, but throughout the day as You give me opportunities to express Your love to others.
- Lord, I pray that You will guide me with Your grace to be able to meditate without controlling or judging my actions and thoughts so that I can let Your Spirit flow through me unhindered.
- Transformation comes in the end, not from an act of will, but an act of grace. We can only ask for it and keep asking.' p84 Reaching for the Invisible God
- To focus on the addiction piles quilt on me which causes me to be even more self-preoccupied. Guilt blocks humility which is where we experience God's grace.
- I find confidence in my humility and dignity in knowing and admitting my limits.
- My goal in defeating an addiction must not be focused on relief from the addiction but experiencing grace in the process.
- To indulge in any attachment is to rob ourselves of the dep loongings that give us a clear path to God.
- Lord, as we go through this process of teaching me to walk, as You hold me for a while and then let go allowing me to struggle for a while and eventually fall, help me not to beat up on myself and curl up into a pity party as I constantly expect more out of myself that I ought. But instead, help me to laugh at the joy of going though the process with You and just hold my hands up so we can do it again. 'Count is all joy when you fall into divers temptations.' James 1:2 Now I see what it means to take myself too seriously. Life is not an endless list of problems to be solved.
- Oh Lord, help me to use the KISS principle in all aspects of my spiritual walk, especially in dealing with my addictions. I know that wherever there is complication, there is error. This means, concerning my addictive behaviours, to not do the next addictive behaviour. This means, concerning my spiritual life, to love. p138 Addiction & Grace
- Help me Lord not to come to You with my cup filled with oughts, shoulds, apologies and false promises, but instead only with your blood.
- Lord, help me to not get caught in the trap of beating up on myself and constantly apologizing about my addictions. This is arrogant and dishonest. It is saying that I am better than that. Help me to be honest that my attachment is proof of my idolatry.
- I give my temptations power by fighting them because I fear them. Help me Lord to just let them go rather than trying to push them out of my mnd which never works.
- God could miraculously heal me from my addictions. But by allowing me to have a free will, He is alowing me a part in the struggle and therefore giving me dignity.
- Relax your shoulders.
- Pain and suffering bring us closer to God. As we get closer, we are able to be freed from the attachments causing our pain. Our pain is then replaced with compassion - feeling the pain of others. But that pain is filled with hope, not despair.
- In the second temptation, where Satan offered Jesus rulership of the World, Jesus said, 'Get behind me Satan'. These are the same words used to Peter when he cut the ear off the temple guard. Peter was trying to do the same thing as Satan. We need to be careful about dropping Jesus' name, making Him a poster child or a mascot of our cause. There is a line here that I cannot see clearly. For example, we should clearly be politically active especially concerning moral issues. However, Jesus conspiculously avoided such moral topics of His day such as slavery and woman's rights. I can see that it would probably be over the line and destructive to God's kingdom to spend our time picketing gay bars rather than ministering to gays. It would be over the line to say Jesus is a Republican or American. But God blessed the clergy who spurred on the Revolution. The church has to take a stand on the gay agenda. But clearly, many moral issues of our day would best be fought by our testimony rather than in court. Banning God from schools. How could they if we were true christians? Can I really say,'God is on my side'?
- The Latin root word for repentance is 'poena' - 'pain'. The Greek word for repentance is 'metanoia' - 'change of heart'. The Hebrew word for repentance is 'nacham' - 'to be comforted' or 'eased'.
- How can we analyze faith? This mysterious working between God's grace and our will. This is what makes faith so uncomfortable and so difficult to explain. But, at the same time, it can be so powerful that we can trust our lives to it.
- I am as the little kid always asking why. I sense that God would rather us just play together.
- Without attachments, we float in the fuzzy world of faith. Many times, I want to attach to doctrine and truth - 'Grounded in the truth'. No, I am to trust in God when the only truth that I have in that situation is that God is good. This is the grain of mustard seed. 'Grounded in truth' is not in the Bible. Only two scriptures talk about being grounded. Ephesians 3:17 talks about being grounded in love. Colossians 1:23 says to be grounded in faith. These are the twin breasts mentioned in Song of Solomon.
- Lord, help me to not make Your revelations an attachment.
- Spirituality is not an acquired skill. It is the letting go of our acquired skills.
- To try to 'get it right' is to try to control God, making my relationship to Him manipulative, addictive, and codependent.
- I seem to measure my 'closeness to God' based on how well I deal with my loneliness and addictions. This thinking makes a number of false assumptions. One is that when I am at peace and not tormented by my loneliness and addictions, that it is because I have 'gotten it right'. In retrospect, those moments of peace have crept up on me as a gift from God. Another assumption is that 'closeness with God' is freedom from those torments. This makes God's fellowship valuable only in the sense of how much relief it gets me. As I continue to strip away the 'wood, hay, and stubble' I become fearful if I will find any true, genuine love at all - for God or anyone else.
- Lord, help me not to fill my empty cup with guilt. Help me to see my failures as a doorway to grace.
- We long for the spiritual world to make itself evident in the physical world. But to think this way implies that they are two distinct, incompatible things. This leads to reductionism (C.S. Lewis) which, if taken to the extreme, defines life as an organ in a dark container receiving electrical impulses from various sources. When Christ was born, both worlds were joined in Him as they once were in the garden. Now we are 'in Christ' and so the two worlds are combined in us. How can we say 'Where is the spiritual world?' when we are surrounded by sunsets, music, smiles. The real question is 'Where is the church?'
- I write this again, not as profound wisdom, but to remind myself of what I forget so often. The way to God is 'The Way of Suffering' that leads to the cross. Learning is not a substitute. It is telling that I enjoy talking about this point more than I like doing it. Learning is about finding a cure. Suffering is about walking through the storm to God.
- The christian culture says that owning our desires is dangerous and can lead us into temptations. In fact, the opposite is true. Disowned desires are usually our downfall.
- Lord, thank You for showing me how hopelessly evil I am and how forgiving You are so that I am free from religious struggles to do better. But help me to see the other side, how loving You are and how lovely I am so that I am free to be who You made me and pursue You as You pursue me. Help me to announce that I am the one for whom the glass slipper fits.
- When I desire understanding as the way to God, I am falling into satan's deceit that he has used from the beginning in Eden. The way to God is intimacy.
- Spirituality is not something to master, but to experience.
- Help me Lord that my faith does not begin 'to feel more like a series of problems that needed to be solved or principles that had to be mastered before we could finally enter into the abundant life'. p.7 The Sacred Romance
- Forgive me Lord for taking on the burden of Your work as if were a crucial part rather than seeing my participation as a blessing from You.
- How can I focus on such a vague topic as being more spiritual? Being more spiritual is just being more with You and being more like me.
- Help me Lord not to fret and worry about my spiritual progress but focus on You and let the progress take care of itself.
- But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. II Corinthians 3:18 Verb can also be translated as 'reflecting like mirrors'. We cannot separate the two acts. Lord help me to behold and reflect as Moses did (II Corinthians 3:7) from one level of glory to the next.
- Help me Lord to be humble enough to leave the real work up to You and. when I see broken people, direct them to You with the higest recomendations based on how You have helped me. You are the 'great Physician'. Thank You for allowing me to help and thank You for not making it my responsibility to do the technical stuff. Now I see better that 'It's not all about me' is a show of love, not a request for self sacrifice. I am perfectly fine with being the doorkeeper directing people into the doctors office. Thank You for not 'putting on me more than I could bear'. Being such a regular customer myself, with so many divers ailments of my own, makes me a good door keeper. All I have to do is be sensitive enough to recognize pain. I know pain.
- Religion says that we must deal with our sins in order to get to God, but we must get to God in order to be able to deal with our sins.
- We can't say that God loves me but is put off by my sin. Only love that loves me as I am is true love.
- When God grants me peace, I run away. I want intensity. Peace is accepting that God loves me as I am. Intensity is acceptance and identity in accomplshments or relationships. Can I accept that being loved by God is enough? Religion is a noise that tries to drown out this peace.
- Help me Lord to be broken and vulnerable without being self degrading and masochistic. Then I can be gracious instead of judgmental. Thank You Lord that Your love sent me through the long path of recovery so that I can distinguish them as I see it from the backside. The one is God-centered and the other is self-centered. (Peter and Judas) The one causes intimacy with God and others, the other causes fear of God and others. The one focuses on forgiveness, the other on judgment. The one sees God as enough, the other is obsessed with adulation. The one is about grace, the other about performance. The one acknowledges God, the other does not. the one causes honesty with God and others, the other causes hiding and hypocracy with God and others. In the one case, we forgive ourselves, in the other, we do not. The one accepts God's presence, the other works for it. One focuses on God's love for us, the other on our love for God. The one focuses on who I am, the other on who I should be.
- 'He will withhold no good thing from us.' Good things are not blessings.
- The only difference between conservative and liberal religious groups, besides moral standards, is the amount of effort it takes to get blessings.
- Help me to remember, Lord, that insights come from You and not from books. It's OK if I don't get a chapter read today.
- God has chosen a nobody to reveal His Grace to. The insight that He has blessed me with does not change my status.
- Lucifer decided that controlling his own life to satisfy his own desires was a much more direct approach to happiness. In order to lead us into the same mistake, he invented religion. From then on, man has been tired and unpationate. Help me Lord to avoid this narcissistic trap. I always end up either tired and depressed or arrogant.
- Over a week has passed without a book to read. I now see that books are a crutch and a way of avoiding the uncomfortable silence of intimacy with God.
- To crave the intensity of religious experiences over the still small voice is a shallow relationship like a physically dominated relationship with a wife. Help me not to confuse You with Your intensity. Lord help me to find the deeper, more subtle relationship with You. My ability to enjoy it would not rely on my 'spitituality' but would be a gift from You.
- Am I as excited for people when they discover something about God from another source other than myself?
- Even the insights in this journal can be a crutch to getting close to God. I am already there, or more accurately, He is already here. Keep my 'eyes on the Lord and His righteousness (not on me) and all these things shall be added unto you.' (No need to focus on what I think I need.) Trust.
- Can I rest in God's love without the support of learning something new? Are books a crutch? I am not fallng. The amount that I cannot rest is the amount that I depend on self.
- I cannot tie my ego (selfworth) to God's use of me. If He uses me alot, I am good and if He uses me a little, I am worthless. That is codependent. God's use of me can never be used as an acalade. Neither can His show of love for me for the same reason. Only when I drop these ideas can I rest in His grace. God loves me. Live with it.
- I cannot adore God and be focused on self.
- I refuse to let my devotion time with God to be taken up obsessing about my sinfulness. It's not about me.
- It is obvious to me now that the Lord is just asking for some quiet time together. Do I love Him enough to 'waste' my devotion time, that I could spend learning, to just sit in His presence? The true show of a close relationship is when silence is comfortable.
- Faith is not beliefs. Faith is trust which then establishes beliefs. Trust comes from experience. Contemplative prayer bridges the gap between beliefs and experience through love.
- The Bible is not God. Reading the Bible is not spending time with God. Being true to it's doctrines is not necessarily being true to God. Reading it to the world is not necessarily sharing Christ.
- My faith in God does not depend on my faithfulness.
- Lord, may I seek You for Your sake and not mine.
- 'Let us be careful not to seek mystical experiences when we should be seeking repentance and conversion.' Shepherd of Hermas
- Learning is about me, worship is about God.
- Moral rules give us security. Spirituality gives us insecurity.
-God is in the Now and I disappear. I am no longer concerned with my spiritual condition. I am not obsessed with self analysis. Guilt and shame disappear.
- Help me Lord to distinguish a Christ-centered life from the prideful self-sacrificing legalistic martyrdom of the stoic conservatives who have no passion.
- Forgive me Lord that I am motivated in my spiritual walk by my own desires and ambitions causing me to be discouraged when it doesn't bring me the joy and adoration that I desire and instead serve for your purposes.
- Am I seeking an experience with God or seeking to know Him better?
- My knowledge of God comes from my experience with Him, not the other way around.
- It was the desire to encounter God that drew Peter out of the boat and into the storm, not the desire to be more holy, to show up the other disciples, or to do the 'right thing'. There is no sin in staying in the boat.
- I have always hated my sin because it offends me. Now, I hate my sin because it offends God. It's not all about me.
- 'That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit.' Romans 8:4
- 'Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free...ye have been called unto liberty...This I say then, walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.' Galation 5:1,13,16
- Legalism and guilt are narcistic and offer a false-security and so blocks our view of God.
- 'They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.' Isaiah 40:31
- I struggle trying to stop struggling. It's still trying to 'get it right'.
- 'Without Christ we can do nothing.'
- 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.' Isaiah 30:15
- 'Working to do better' squelches the Spirit rather than brings me closer to God.
- II Corinthians 5:17 'He is a new creature, old things are passed away, behold all things are become new.'
- II Corinthians 5:14 'Love of Christ constraineth us.'
- Romans 5:5 '...love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost.'
- As long as I continue to try to 'do better', I have not yet grasped how wretched I am. I am beyond repair. My old self must die and be replaced. 'Not I but Christ.'
- Trying to figure it all out is the works of the foolish Galations.
- Lord, help me to stop trying to reform and instead transform. To relax at your feet even though I smell of pig manure. To stop trying to rearrange the furniture, of trying to 'get it right'. 'Be still and know that I am God.'
- Lord, help me to be more like Mary and less like Martha. The better part.
- Lord, help me to give less advice and more love.
-Why is it that the only artistic people that are christians are musicians, except Kincaid? All of the passonate artists are extreme liberals. No wonder Hollywood always says the way to passion is to shun religion and it's restrictions. Is there no passion in the christian circles to counteract this attack?
- As I persue my vision from God, He will show me the faults I need to address.
- I have too many problems to focus on fixing them. It will overwhelm me and take up my life. I will instead focus on my vision (sensitive to other's pain) and only deal with the problems that get in the way of it. This is a positive approach. Self mutilation is selfish and about making my life better for me. Godly sorrow vs. guilt. And help me to use this attitude in order to connect with others.
- Is ritual bad? It is easy for me to push against it due to my strong dislike with religion and all of it's bad side effects. However, the Old Testament is full of rituals established by God. I believe we are living in the age of the Spirit where ritual is no longer necessary, but, depending on our culture, worship outside of ritual may be difficult. That does not mean that we are weak. The problem comes in when the ritual becomes a means of connecting with God rather than a celebration of a deep connection that is already cultivated. For example, Valentines day can be seen as a ritual. However, if a man sonstantly uses that day as a means to form a bridge with his wife and has not bothered to establish an intimacy throughout the other days, it will obviously be rejected as insencere. (Isaiah 1) So, is one ritual better than another? Do we believe that those who perform the rituals we practice to be closer to God? If so, perhaps the ritual is no different than trying to buy off someone with a box of chocolates.
- Could it be that God wants to create an army of smerfs?
- Religion is for those who are afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there. (bumper sticker)
- 'If you love Me feed my sheep.' Feed has been interpreted as educate. Where did that come from? So we have sermons, Bible studies, seminars, work books, etc. Who is the mana? Who is the Bread of Life? When we focus on teaching, we contaminate the community by perpetuating our own issues. We are not to become an army of pop psychologists. The point is not to get it together, but rather to get together.
- Is spiritual something where God is mentioned? Can a romantic song be considered spiritual?
- Does our gifts get stronger by exercising them or submitting to them?
- Lord, thank you for reminding me that I am to lead by example. Not by being a perfect model or by having all of the wise answers, but by being open to seeing my faults with God and others.
- Help me Lord to remember to help people not by looking for what needs to be fixed, but by looking for Christ in them and nurturing that. Fixing is defensive. Inspiration is offensive.
- 'God meets us where we are, not where we pretend to be or wish we were.' Truth is a two-way street. We have to be true about ourselves in order to hear God's truth to us. p137 Real Church
- Why do you go to church?
- Religion says that life is about choices. If we make bad choices, bad things happen. This leads us to try to control people to make the right decisions. Any counseling based on this is abusive. There is only one choice - God's way or the Devil's way. When we choose against God, the results are always bad whether they show up immediately or over time or whether they show up spiritually rather than physically. Lot made such a choice. To chose God always has a good spiritual outcome, regardless of the physical results. It matters little whether we chose A or B. If we chose with God in mind, He will make it work toward His purpose. We do not have to have faith in ourselves. Just trust Him.
- Religion says that God only speaks through trials, but He sometimes guides us by giving us a taste of what He ultimately wants us to have. If we focus on that joy, just as we can get fixated on a trial, we miss the leeson that will change us so that we can have that joy. This situation that provides the joy then becomes an idol and leads us away from God rather than towards Him. He is then forced to remove the situation to avoid harm to us. If we can mature enough, we will no longer need the carrot or the stick to lead us but our affections are focused on Him and so we see these 'good' or 'bad' situations as opportunities to see Him more clearly. The next step is that we begin to be less self-centered and see God's actions corporately. All of our issues are in the corporate arena anyway. What is God saying to us? The next step is that God allows us to see what He is doing in others so that we can play a part in helping them and, by doing so, see Him more clearly. Eventually, our focus is our helping others reach their joy in God and our desire to work our own issues is not just to find our desire but to be molded to help others reach theirs. That is community. God in us.
- Faith is not something that God demands of us when time are hard. t is a gift that we receive when we are willing to allow Him to share His heart with us. Through the intimacy of shariing His desires and dreams (love) we also have faith (trust). Passion (love) casts out fear. Love is not specific. Love in this passage refers to love for all, not just God. You cannot separate them.
- Religion justifies actions based on 'blessings'. If things are going well, I must be 'doing it right'. Not only is this a cruel theology to those who suffer, but is has a limited and distorted view of what 'blessings' mean. It implies a self-centered view of blessings that usually revolve around love and money which our culture ties closely together. This view aims too low. My look at the Bible finds no such pattern with the lives of 'saints' or the evil. 'The rain falls on the just and the unjust.' Blessing is the pleasure and honour to play a role in furthering God's kingdom by changing peoples lives, freeing them from prisons that Satan has made for them and allowing them to feel the passion of an other-centered life. God's path for our lives can involve a mixture of prosperity and poverty, romance and isolation. To look at these things to determine God's approval would be confusing not to mention selfish. Sometimes, the worst thing that could happen to us is that we get what we ask for. It is juvenile theology to assume that 'blessings' come from God and 'trials' come from Satan. Help me Lord to keep my eyes centered on You and not my own comfort. How many christians do I know that have taken themselves out of the game because they have found a blessed exsistence? Depending on how determined someone is to avoid God's adventures, the definition of 'blessing' can be very meager. Is our God big enough to hope for more to the extent that we are not satisfied with the 'blessings' and gladly lay them at His feet in hopes for the higher prize - Himself. Oh Lord, continue to stir my heart. I fear how settled and hard it can become without You. Some desire comfort. Some desire God to provide comfort. Some desire God.
- If we can't see God as more than just a means to an end rather than the goal itself, we won't see people as the goal itself either. Religion and friendship do not coexist.
- Religion says that love is dangerous and must be controlled. Love is dangerous. It is the most powerful force in the universe. It can spin our life out of control. Lord, help me see it clearly, apart from need, so I can have the faith to turn it loose.
- Religion seeks to restrict us to prevent us from taking liberties (sin) that we are not supposed to. However, when we see the freedom found in Christ, the sin is no longer seen as a temptation but as a restraint. Help me Lord to look past my needs to see Your freedom so that the shackles of religion do not make sin look like freedom.
- I wonder when I say that I am doing 'God's work' that I am not taking myself too seriously and maybe even be acting a little arrogant. Why do I use the term 'work'? It may be 'God's work' to take a friend to a movie. I may be more accurate to say 'God's play'. It's not all about fixing but about cultivating.
- Legalism builds hierarchy. Love tears it down.
- Oh Lord, help us to elliminate self-gratification from our spiritual walk and replace it with love. We are like labs willing to heal and submit in anticipation that You will allow us to work in the supernatural (throw us the ball). We can't get enough of it. It is like a drug that gets us through our isolated, depressive existence. We crave the supernatural like a drug whether we are exercising them or they are being exercised in our behalf. Why are all the gifts being excercised in churches on saved people? Jesus didn't heal in the synagogues. He healed in the streets. The gifts were a witness that what Jesus was saying was true and He was who He claimed to be. They were a witness of God's love. He could have just levitated people but love, not the gift, was the focus. Our suffering does not earn us the right to exercise the gifts. Love is the ultimate gift (ICorinthians 13) (Mathew 12:38-42). Much of our suffering is our own fault. Much of it because of childhood attacks from Satan that has warped our perspective which perpetuated the suffering. We cannot enhance the gifts by sacrifice. It is confusing because we see people that work so strongly in the gifts, such as prophetic and healing, sacrifice so much. We deduce that if we copy their lifestyle that we too can have those gifts. But the sacrifice is a result of the gift not the other way around. Exercising the gift requires putting other people ahead of ourselves because the gifts are a manifestation of love. The sacrifice did not cause the gift, the gift caused the sacrifice. They are called gifts for a reason.
- Matthew 12:38-42 - Are we that 'evil and adulturous generation' that seeks a sign? The signs were meant to show love not power (healing the sick and the blind and feeding the poor). For those that were seeking love it was enough. For those that were seeking power, it is never enough till manah falls from the sky and His kingdom is set up on earth.
- The part of us that is defensive against outsiders accusations is the part that is unreal (religious).
- Many christians crave to see Your power in the midst of our pain. 'Give us a sign'. We desire a word of prophesy or a healing. Help us Lord, to grasp the power of divine love. A power that is not to us but through us to others. Is this not the answer to our pain - what we have been craving? The power that changes lives (hearts) not just circumstances.
- Whatever we set as valuable is what we will use to rank people by rather it be intelligence, sex appeal, etc. Christians value gifts, as they should, but these gifts should never take presidence over God's love (ICorinthians 14). God's love is the only thing that elevates God rather than man. When our focus and highest desire is God's love, then He gets the honor as we become more humbled in it's presence. It is God's love that does the work, not the gifts. They are only a tool. This puts the focus on the receiver of the gift and not the giver and God gets the glory. We should never elevate the giver by giving him a title or office and we should never desire this praise. There is no power in the gifts. The Holy Spirit speaks not of Himself but of Christ. The gifts only reveal God's love where it is blocked. Spirituality is love, not giftedness. We are to strive to connect to God's love not the gifts alone. Striving for God's love is corporate, striving for the gifts for the gift's sake is individual.Only God's love builds community and honors God. Anything else builds idols.
- Faith is more than a mere allegiance to life principles, it is a deeper inner connection with a living God. p215 Unchristian
- The political battles have taken on a life of their own. It is more about power struggle than the issue. Gays march down the main streets of New York in their gay parade wearing tutus and leather for one reason - to tick off christians. If we get lured into this fight and wave 'God hates fags' signs, we have forgotten the main fight - rescuing their souls. We may win the battle but lose the war as countless gays enter eternity with clinched fists. The only reason they do this is becuause they feel justified when we are angry at them and it fuels sympathy with others. Also, they are much less afraid of our anger than our compassion because compassion opens their heart to see the pain that caused the homosexuality.
- The isolation between churchgoers and outsiders seems to be as much the desire of the churchgoers as the outsiders. It is natural to want to hang out with our own kind.
- We can't be judgemental if we are not isolated. p200 Unchristian
- 'The opposite of sin is not virtue, it is grace.' Philip Yancey
- We say 'hate the sin but love the sinner' but rarely get around to the second part.
- Without religion, community thrives.
- Christians are so judgemental, we can't even get along with each other, let alone outsiders. Perhaps we are just as afraid of being compassionate to oursiders as they are of receiving it, for the same reason. To be compassionate requires that we get in touch with our own pain and shortcomings and then be willing to share them. It is not necessary that we have the same shortcomings to be compassionate, Jesus was perfect yet He was compassionate to all. Religion prevents us from being compassionate because it sees others pain as the result of their sin. However, if we are willing to look deeper at ourselves and others, we will see that it is a vicious cycle where their pain caused their sin also. Pain can lead us to resort to sinful, self-serving ways to relieve the pain only to cause more pain. Do we really want to take the beam out of our own eye? Do we prefer to stay blinded and just offer superficial, judgemental advice? Is this a judgement of ourselves? If we are judgemental toward ourselves, we are judgemental toward others. God shows us our faults not to judge us but to invite us to a more initmate level of love.
- How few people pursue God out of love rather than need. Need stops pursuing when the need is met. Those that want more cannot be happy in the pew.
- Lord, protect us that are searching for Your Way from those that think they have found it.
- When the Greeks got the gospel, they turned it into a philosophy; when the Romans got it, they turned it into a government; when the Europeans got it, they turned it into a culture;; and when the Americans got it, they turned it into a business. Richard Halverson
- Authority and dominance are exclusive. One cannot exist with the other. Dominance says, 'I am in charge because I can be and no one can stop me'. Authority says, 'I am in charge because I am better equiped to lead than anyone else and so have more to offer'.
- 'Christianity is a social religion...to turn it into a solitary religion is indeed to destroy it.' John Wesley
- Heirarchy is a way of finding security apart from God as Israel did by requesting a king. With the Holy Spirit's guidance, hierarchy is not so important. Hierarchy needs rules which need laws to enforce the rules which needs a chain of command to enforce the laws which destroys relationship.
- One serious side effect of working to please God by good deeds is that if we ever determine that we have achieved that goal we automatically feel superior to others and that we have the right of power which leads to tyrants (p59 Reason for God) but grace is the giving up of power.
- If we claim to live the church of Acts time, perhaps we need to start acting like it. Where has the doctrine come from that says we are not to interfere with each other's sufferings for fear that we will interfere with God's work in them? That sounds more like Hindu than Christian. What good is our unity if it only happens in the spiritual rhealm and does not touch the physical or emotional? The Acts church was unified in all those. The simplicity of Your love more than humbles, it humiliates me. I believe that we enhance God's work by helping each other, not hinder it because the weight of glory is heavier than the weight of trial. God's work is enhanced by grace not hindered. If we are not willing to reach out to each other physically and emotionally first, we have no business reaching out spiritually.
- Oh Lord, my heart reaches out to those that are rejected by the religious system. They hurt too bad and don't have the skills and talents necessary to fake their way through the system. You seem unreachable. But, I want to raise an army from the spritually outcast the way that you did with David. (pgs. 88-89 Encouragement) I need wisdom to reach these people because when I try to encourage them to come and experience what You have given me, many will just be intimidated and will not feel they can reach to where I am at. I will look just like the church. These people have all tried and failed. Pep talks will not help. They need courage and even more importantly, hope.
- In order to be fully release from a sin, I must truly repent and die to the sin. In other words, I must see it in all of it's ugliness and despise it as God does.
- Religion says to be good in order to be accepted. Christ says to be good because we are accepted.
- How do I discern if it's God's voice or not? The Bible says that the sheep can recognize the shepherd's voice. When I am helping people, how can I find God's voice? The Bible says that the Word cuts to the joints and is the discerner of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12) John 1,1 says that the Word is God. I John 4:16 says God is love. So to tell if it is God's voice is if it is love. The Devil tries to counterfeit love by having compassion on sinful acts but this love is always accompanied by hate for those who disagree.
- The basic process: God attract my attentio to a certain person and a current issue of theirs by strirring up passionate insights about that person and their issue. He show me how to relate with specific stories in my life so that I can pray with compassion rather than clinical critique. Shortly after that , He arranges a meeting between us and usually the person brings up the issue because God has been working on them about it. I help clarify it with examples of my own so that we connect. Then God guides me to lighten the path He has for them but getting to the rest of their need.
- Romans 1:28-32 We relate the reprobate mind to the previous verses discussing sexual perversion, but that is only the symptom. The true definition is in verses 29-32 and can apply to many religious people as well. It is a fearful thing when God stops inviting us to join in His service to others. The description in verses 29-32 are what happens to a person who habitually avoids God. It is a description of a shut down spirit which is what is required to avoid God. That is why sexual perversion, which starts as sexual fantasy, is a symptom because it is the only other escape for a dying spirit.
- Self-righteousness usually means a cold heart.
- Trying to 'do the right thing' is a selfish endeaver.
- In order to do those things within God's will, we must constantly ask for what we need.
- God has given us authority over nature and the Demons which is more than just submitting to God's will. God's will is broad and not just one thing. When we are in tune with Him, we are aware of the sphere of that will. We have the authority to chose, within that will, the things to do that we feel most closely match our gift.
- Man's method of brokeness by means of physical, emotional and spritual abuse creates self loathing that shuts down the ability to give or receive love. This destroys manhood by destroying the motivation (love) to scrifice. God's brokeness spurs the desire for love more as we struggle to fulfill it in any manor of earthly ways till we finally realize that the desire we crave can only be fulfilled by God.
- I believe that a good, moral, christian, passionless life does more harm for furthering God's Kingdom than a wayward christian lost in debauchery.
- A good sign that we are not pursuing God is that if we are not desiring His company, we don't usually desire the company of His people either.
- The root or source of the passion that comes over me from the Spirit is not wisdom, but love.
- Lord, I pray that the large hole in my soul caused by the pain of unmet needs could be used as a conduit for Your Spirit to flow more freely to others.
- We gather and pray for God to give to us manna. We feel that we are spiritual because we search for You. But our focus is off. We are to search for others. Instead of manna, You give us a little bread and fish at the bottom of a big basket. The size of the basket is both a promise of what You are willing to give and also the extent of neediness this world has left us. The more we yearn for You only makes us more aware of how empy our basket is. So we gratefully take whatever crumbs we have and we devour them. We tell others that there is a God that supplies all our needs and that this is just an appetizer, but the wold does not see any of the food that we speak of and we look just as hungry as them. Just more pathetic and hopeful than them. They get up and walk away, to search for food on their own and we gather around Jesus with our empty baskets. He doesn't give us enough to keep a bird alive because we never give it away. That is the only way that our basket can be full. Lord, I am so blinded by my hunger, tht I do not even see who to pass the food out to.
- The more religion is played out in the feminine world of home rather than the masculine world of the public sector, it will conform to become more feminine. p. 151 The Church Impotent
- Summation of christian femininity - The corporate view of the Church as a bride has been transformed to individual identification. This caused more nuns who, as mystics, saw their relationship with Christ as erotic. They transformed the image of Christ into the female desire for a sensitive, nonjudgemental man and transformed our relationship with Him as purely receptive and subjective making women more suited and thus more holy. The idea of purgatory and eventually no Hell came from this. Now, feminism has come out of it as most of the charasmatic activity revolves around women.
- 'They esteemed Him not' - the latest way God has allowed me to relate to Him. The religious community judges based on how many religious activities I am involved n, how I dress and wear my hair, how much I go to church, and how well my life is going. I lose on all counts.
- Death and resurrection are written in nature, especially the seasonal movement of sun and moon till when the resurgent sun meets the full moon at the vernal equinox. (unknown)
- A major obstacle of overcoming our sins is our attachment to them. They become part of our identity and to give them up plunges us into the fearful unknown of who we are. As a woman who keeps marrying abusive men. We may even set ourselves up to validate our sin. 'I will always be that way' is a common phrase I hear.
- Offering my pain on the alter is not the same as the religious 'giving it to God'. Religious advice is all about avoiding pain and being 'happy in the Lord' even though the Bible says that He was 'a man of sorrows acquainted with grief'. Hurting is not a sign of spiritual weakness. It does not necessarily mean that something is wrong. 'Fools are in the house of laughter.' To leave it on the alter means that I will not obsess about solutions that are beyond my control. I will not become self-centered in pity or rage. I will gladly 'bear my cross daily' for the opportunity to relate to Christ in a deeper way. This is not to get rewards in heaven for giving up pleasures on earth like '72 dark eyed virgins'. It is so I can relate to God here.
- One side of the road is a ditch of 'riotous living' in which most people can see it's damaging effects. The other side of the street has a more suble ditch of 'complacency' in which a christian might sit in and brag 'I am not like this taxcollector' because his life is calm and comfortable unlike the 'sinner's' life which is turned upside down. But, both sides of the road shut down the Spirit equally and the complacent side is more damaging because the person is not usually aware that he is in a rut and is comfortable there. The person in the other ditch cannot suffer forever and so might 'come to himself' as the prodical son and return. This is why Paul encouraged that ditch over the complacent ditch when he said 'sin mightily' but John said of those in the complacent ditch that God would 'spew them out of His mouth'.
- Comfort can only be valued by a dead spirit.
- Good principles for inner healing or right living becaome idolatrous when they become the focus rather than just tools to know God better. p.56 Silence of Adam Their temptation comes from our desire to be in control. p.51 Silence of Adam
- Religion has gone from 'how can I do better' (legalists) to 'how can I feel better' (recovering addicts). p.56 Silence of Adam
- Christian music seems to be trying to connect with us instead of with You.
- The only way to find God is to find our emptiness. p.33 Silence of Adam
- The church spends more time learning about itself, marriage, parenting, etc.) than learning about You.
- Sometimes, 'I am here Lord' is the best prayer of all.
- 'I never want my prayer life to lapse into a monologue'. p.185 Sacred Pathways
- We say when times are easy that God is blessing us and when times are hard that the Devil is attacking us. We have it backward. Comfort is the main tool of the Devil. Turmoil is the main tool of God. The Devil knows that when times are hard that we will cry out to God and He will deliver us. He knows that when we are comfortable, we do not need God and our spirit falls asleep.
- Lord, forgive me for not being able to love those that are not pursuing You, for they are the ones You have called me to help. Help me to be more than a stirile counselor. Help me to be a friend.
- Good conselors do not heal but clear away confusion so as to introduce their spirit back to God. p.31 Sacred Pathways
- 'If you just can't seem to leave that one particular sin, you may find that the answer is very simple: You don't know how to be nourished according to the way God made you so you're seeking spiritual "junk food", in the form of sin or addictions, somewhere else. Finding fulfillment in God is the most powerful antidote to any sin.' p.30 Sacred Pathways
- Help me Lord, to invite You into every moment of my life, every activity. This is what fellowship is about more than a 'filling of the Spirit'. Chap 11 Renewing the Mind
- We give Satan respect that he does not deserve. He is not an opposing force to God. He is only a tool that God uses to mature us and bring us to Him. If we fear Satan, we do not trust God. p.103 Renewal of the Mind
- Sometimes we struggle with what is the 'will of God' and fret out past decisions wondering if we should have gone left when we went right. The truth is that if we made the choice in true submission to God, trying, to the best of our ability, to do what we felt was 'God's will' then we made the right choice regardless of whether we went right or left and God will bless us equally regardless of which path we chose. The only way to have gotten out of God's will would have been to chose the way that best suited us with little regard for what we know was God's intentions in our lives. 'God's will' is a matter of the heart, not of action. When we submit to God, He will make it work out.
- A woman's long hair is her 'crown of glory' meaning it has an effect on men that causes us to give respect for her femininity in modesty far more than the respect that other women try to get for the femininity through inmodesty.
- It is difficult to say whether things are going 'good' or 'bad so this is not a good way to judge the will of God.
- All revelations must have Christ as center stage or else pride in knowledge take over and the victory is temporary because it is not by the strength of the Spirit. This happens by exposing all error as opposed to divine love and to motivate change by elevating divine love with passion.
- Religion is about fear and therefore control. Love is about courage and therefore opposes religion. Love should therefore, not be shunned by men but championed by them.
- Hebrews 2:15 'And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.' The purpose of religion is to prevent change. When we trust in God instead of our own beliefs and perceptions, it will feel like death but it frees us of fear. It is the death of self.
- Christianity has taken on the Greek view that the physical body is less than the soul and so the physical world is less than the spiritual. We need to re-attach that wire between the physical and spiritual in our mind so that all three parts of us are participating whether we are helping someone in need or having sex with our spouse.
- '(name) sure is critical of (name) but he isn't any better. What a hypocrite.' It is not a threat that God will remove His Grace if we don't behave. Remember the parable of the man who was forgiven a large debt but could not forgive the small debt that was owed to him. Only God is qualified to judge and He has forgiven. Who among us is qualified to cast the first stone. When we fully grasp the debt we have been forgiven, the tamptation to judge is over. 'It is God who works in us both to will and do of His good pleasure.'
- The Bible says that if we judge others, that we will be judged. This is not so much a threat as it is a pattern. If we cannot see God's grace as a free gift to others, we will not be able to accept it for ourselves. We not only judge ourselves, but we invite others to judge us also.
- Shy of the gospel and the inerrant Word of God, none of our beliefs should be sacred cows. By definition of spiritual growth, God rarely works with us within our belief system. Sacred cows prevent God from growing us. Sacred cows are idols. In order to be a disciple of Christ, we must be willing to put our religion on the altar. Who of us, if we could sit down to a chat with Jesus about present day politics and religion would not be offended or ticked off within an hour? Our comfort and security is God alone, not our beliefs or religious affiliation.
- I picture a house church that splits into several missions each with a leader. All the leaders meet together once a week to encourage, give advice etc. People are free to move from group to group or be a part of a couple of groups. The groups are to have a definite time limit or goal so that groups are disolving and forming all the time. The whole group meets periodically for direction, forming new groups, celebrating the completion of a group, introducing new members, getting acquainted with other groups to see if they would like to move, and fellowship. A group of networked house churches, each with a particular outreach. The only permanent group would be the nursery for new believers but the membership would be constantly changing as each graduate gets paired with a 'parent'.
- This may at first sound like blasphemy, but submission to Jesus is a feminization of christianity. 'Wives submit yourselves to your husband'. The result is that we wait for God to bring the enemy to us rather than, as David who slew 300 Philistines for Michael, we are proactive and charge out into the night in search of demons. Waiting and hoping that they do not come our way is not a warrior spirit.
- The church needs to go from an army of B-B guns to double 0 buckshot.
- My job is to give vision and inspiration, specifically to men. To take the burden off of women. This vision is general. The church is perishing without a vision (purpose). The purpose has been replaced with programs. This makes cookie cutter churches. The Baptist are best at this. Instead, let each person be led by God to find their own vision inside the bigger, general vision. So what if nobody wants to be the youth pastor. Let another church do that. Each church should be unique. When we combine all of the individual visions of the people that God calls together, the purpose of the church fleshes out. Forget duties and responsibilities. The leadership role (not me) is to combine all of the individual visions under the main vision to make a well oiled machine. Too many see the churches as competition (church hopping helps this idea) and so they fail as though they have to cover all the bases in order to attract the numbers. I like to look at us special forces for specific jobs, best done by small groups (house church). No vision can stand alone. It may not even be complete enough by itself to make sense. They must all be 'fitly joined together'.
- My gifts allow me to inspire with vision. But I need a man who has the gift of leadership to make it happen.
- Most false teaching revolves around trying to conform truth to us so that we can be comfortable. However, we are to conform to truth, not the other way around. If truth is not greater than us, then what is the purpose of pursuing it? We might as well just make our own truth 'every man doing what is right in his own eyes'.
- Lord, forgive me for desiring the gifts in order to rescue my life. To want to use them to give meaning to my despair. They are Your gifts to further the kingdom, whether they bring me profit or pain.
- It is important that I do not obsess about being right or wrong or doing the right thing as long as I am searching for God's heart on the matter. His will will be done nevertheless. However, I will try to confirm what I believe to be right with the Word and others to save me some trouble.
- I must give up my desire to be special, to be appreciated finally. God has called me to an office that many hold in high esteem but I must serve that office covertly. God puts on my heart (and soul through feelings) someone's problems. I pray for forgiveness and perspective to purge the same sin out of my life as I pray for the same perceptive change in the other. They call me to tell me what God has told them about themselves and their problem that was keeping them from loving others less selfishly. I relate to their problem by sharing my struggle with it since I just went through it. They feel at ease with me since I am no better than them and they open up more. I fill in the details of what God shared with me and they are helped more completely. I never get more credit than being a good sounding board. If they knew all that was happening, they would falsely give me credit and be too intimidated to share. I must remain just the basket case that cares.
- Religion says to 'get our act (testimony) together' and we will draw all men to us but Jesus says that 'If I be lifted up, I will draw all men to me'. Our brokeness reflects Jesus' attitude and is what draws. If people admire me then I am failing.
- To refrain from sin is to shut our heart down and avoid coming to the cross. We may have avoided the immediate effects of the sin that we refrained from, but the seed is planted and grows within us. As we reach out, instead of having the bunker mentality, we are more protected instead of less because when we open our heart to others shortcomings, we expose our own. Jesus was able to allow the prostitute to wash His feet with her tears because He had already dealt with the rejection of the 5,000 who just wanted food rather than Him, etc. This ability to open our hearts to others with a supernatural love/strength touches lives.
- Intercession involves me going to the cross through Gethsemane for the sake of another. (II Corinthians 4:11-12) My disgust (Godly sorrow) for the sin causes me to weep at Lazarus' tomb but joy is the result as the Lord's death works in us (me) for the one I intercede for. The sorrow, the joy and the results come from God.
- I was humiliated yesterday to see myself being unsafe to someone opening up to me by me trying to preach rather than 'come along side'.
- Christians have developed a doctrine called 'testimony'. It says that we, as individuals, are to get our act together and then lead others how to do the same. The Bible says that we are to be broken and let our brokeness lead others to be broken also. This is the compassionate way.
- I have found myself more passionate about a particular truth than I am about the person that I am sharing it with. That comes across as judgemental and preachy. It shuts down interactive dialog. My validation is not whats' important.
- Lord, help me to remember that it is not my job to fix someone by revealing to them all of their faults that You show me. I am only to set them on the path of discovery as You direct. That way, I am less confrontive and threatening. Also, they are less likely to forget the lesson if You show it to them rather than me lecture it to them. p.79 Elijah Task
- I ask forgiveness for praying in order to find purpose in my pain, pride in my accomplishments and understanding rather than humbly allowing You to speak through me for the purpose of Your kingdom.
- As I find myself surrounded by needy, self-centered people that are dedicating their lives to a religious pursuit of their own needs, I have to ask myself - am I attracted to these people and they to me because I have a lot in common with them? Should I be encouraged rather than hurt that they no longer want to be around me? Is this a repeat of the purging of relationships that happened when I left (place)? So if I want to be surrounded by people that actually understand what love is, maybe I need to understand it myself.
- As I have said before, christians are much more obsessed with sin than God. He is much more interested that we open our spirits and discover our identity and corporate destiny. However, the religious institution is more concerned about coralling passions and desires to keep an ever more restless congregation in check. The result is that the very thing that is feared, happens. The answer, instead, is to use our passions as a guide to God and the identity and purpose He has for us. In order to stay safe, we must look past the overwhelming physical urges to the emotional and ultimately the spiritual desires to see our core needs that appear on the surface as just an urges to sin. An example of this is the prodical son who did it the hard way and went through the physical to the emotional and ultimately matured in the spiritual. The Father praises him rather than the over-good older son, regardless of his messy path, because the Father was mostly interested in him coming into his own which the older son did not. Therefore, the fellowship with the father was only enjoyed by the prodical son. chap.18 Transformation 'If we live in the Spirit, we will not satisfy the deeds of the flesh.' This is the easy route that avoids peer pressure and allows the ever more rare individualization, without individualization, christianity is no different than a cult. When a culture tries to control behaviour and prevent individualization, it is a cult. People come to the idol on Sunday morning, give their offering and confess their sins and worship it in song in hopes that their prayers will be answered and that they will have good fortune rather than bad. God wants a relationship. He says, 'If you want to appease Me, give all you have to the poor and follow Me'. God is not impressed with our tokens of obeisance. He wants intimacy. It is better that we stumble on the steps up to His throne than to bury our talent in obeisance. I will not accept the accusations of Satan either directly or indirectly through christians on my quest to divine intimacy. As I said before, I would rather stand exposed in error in His divine light (love) than righteous on the dark fringes. True love is not possible without individualization and disclosure.
- The distinguishing mark to identify truth is that is sets our mind free rather than entraps our thoughts causing division and hatred.
- It is not my job to convict people of their sin. It is my job to love them into the light so they can see it for themselves.
- To have an awakened spirit is to be willing to have our own conscience hurt before we hurt another. It is not human to mess up, it is inhuman such as street gangs filled with fatherless boys. p.271 Transformation
- I want people to want to be with me just to be with me, but because I am performance oriented, I have trained them to want me for what I can offer. Lord, help me find my identity apart from performance.
- Teach me, Lord, how, instead of convicting people of being in the dark, to seduce them into the light.
-Many sins that we see as passive (omission) are really offensive (commission) because it causes us to withold the love that God has given us to share. Therefore, is there really a sin of omission? We call it 'letting go' but it is an attack the way that David killed Bathsheba's husband because to reject a fellow soldier in battle is a hideous thing. Everything looks more ugly in the light (love) of God. Help me, Lord, not to resort to 'tough love' so quickly as do the christians.
- When we sow, we reap a hundred fold according to the law that God set up, whether for good or evil. So even though it is His idea and His strength we still get rewarded a hundred fold. Even though it is our sin, He urges us to confess so that He 'reaps the whirlwind' on the cross. Frank Kelly
- Lord, help me to not use the information that You give me about other people in order to counsel them as a means of control and power or authority over them. I want to be their friend.
- As a counselor, God reveals to me the inner struggles of His people as I humble myself to relate to those shortcomings. This does not mean that I am to corner the person and drag them into the light by exposing their sins to them. This is too much like psychology which says that once we see a problem we can stop it from happening and change it. My job is not to fix, but rather to guide the hurting to see what God is directing them to see in the pain. I do not need to spell it out in detail, they just need to see it enough to agree that it is sin and that they do not want it anymore. Once they see that this sin is causing the pain, they will have the encouragement to take it to the cross and confess so God can 'cleanse of all unrighteoeousness'. Once they have done this, they will be free and full of joy. Encouraging people to the cross is my part. All sin blocks love from God and others. Exposing the sin in this light is much less judgemental. They need to see the pain caused by the blockage of love not only in themselves but the pain that it causes those around them and God.
- When christians lose love, only law is left which was intended only to be used to control the love.
- In order for the Spirit to flow through me, it has to flow out to others.
- Lord, thank You for (name) confirmation that You have called me to exhort. He prayed that my edges could be smoothes out. I know thay my roughness is due to my bitterness. Help me to end it.
- Light is not knowledge, as religion teaches us - it is the glory of God. II Corinthians 4:16 It is not just revelation, but the 'knowledge of the glory of God'. John 8:12 Jesus said, 'I am the light of the world'. 'For the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts.' Romans 5:5 It is our armour. Romans 13:12 We are to be the 'light of the world.' Matthew 5:14 Satan transforms himself 'into an angel of light'. II Corinthians 11:14 His biggest deception is not of the mind but of the heart. 'He that loveth his brother abideth in the light.' I John 2:10 'Let your light shine before men.' Matthew 5:16 Does that mean to wow them with knowledge? This is why the church is as a candlestick that God can take back. John 3:19-21 Evil doers flee from the light because God's grace shines on the evil heart. Nothing exposes sin like grace.
- It is easy for goody-two-shoes who have never messed up to be performance oriented because they have never felt the full extent of grace.
- What will free me from my depression will be letting go fully of performance-oriented thinking. Striving with my self identity causes depression.
- When institutional christians say to get plugged in, they are referring to supporting one of the endless programs or chores. Then they are accepted and loved (performance-oriented). It is more important to get connected to people. What would happen if there were no programs, no worship team, no staff - just a mob and lots of food. Pople could minister to each other through caring, sharing and praying. Music would be spontaneous. No enldless tasks to perform.
- Christians are the most dangerous people. They are the worst at being able to do community. They routinely use the scriptures to apply divine authority to their issues so that they can do the most vile and cruel things to themselves, each other and to others without conscience. Things that would disgust the heathen who have no guide. I believe the average christian would be better off just throwing away their Bible and working off of gut instinct. Most would be more compassionate and closer to God assuming their spirit (conscience) is working at all.
- Galations 3:1,2
~ We are only rearranging furniture
~ We are not better and never will be. In fact, the closer we get to understanding ourselves, by God's wisdom, the worse we look.
~ When we strive to do better, we have no concept of our evilness. Once we have a clean view of ourselves the more hopeless self reformation gets.
~ 'Well, God will help me' - no He wont. The old man must die. Brokeness allows us to come to Him as little children - I can't do it.
~ 'Not I but Christ'
~ 'When I am weak, then am I strong.'
~ God does not smile on our good works or frown at our sins.
~ 'The first shall be last and the last first.'
~ We don't get more and more spiritual - just more broken.
~ Clay - He does it.
~ 'My yoke is easy'
~ The pressures off.
~ Instead of figuring out the 'right way' accept that 'I (God) am the way'.
~ It's all about connecting with God and His people.
~ 'He worketh in us both to will and to do ...'
~ Ought's and should's are over
- What good is a heightened discernment if I do not use it to feel people's pain better?
- How insulting to God is a religion that gives Him credit to be able to do all things yet states that He will only do a limited amount of things. It would be kinder to say that He is incompetent than that He is uncaring.
- I know Lord, that You are not calling me to be a good vessel, just an empty one. I submit to being emptied.
- It's not God that needs to get into Revival, it is us. It would be very encouraging to see Your hand move, but it would be even more encouraging to see us move. To see our hearts change. Then we could see You moving. It is our blindness, not Your inactivity. There is no sense in You demonstrating Yourself if we are not watching.
- Lord, help me to show truth by living it, not by speaking against error.
- The Spirit moves when God's people humble themselves to His divine soul searching, not as individuals only, but as a group. Doing away with 'christian fellowship' and truly connecting in our desire to improve our perspective as God reveals our hearts. Religion trys to shortcut the soul searching and instead dreams up a 'ministry' or 'program'. We hope that God will be impressed enough with our ideas and efforts to take it over. But, when a group truly seeks God, His Spirit can move freely and things can happen without any obvious external efforts. All revivals happen this way. Help us, Lord, to give our hearts and not just our actions. God is not a horse that we can build a harness for. Pentecost says wait on God. Many chose the better part. It's hard to let go of the reigns. God is soon going to burn the 'wood, hay and stubble' of religion. When the disciples offered Him the beautiful temple, Jesus said it would be tore down so that 'not one stone would be on another'.
- Help me, Lord, to enjoy the process and not just the outcome of projects.
- Help me, Lord, to see my battle with the devil in creating things that reflect life from Your perspective (or at least one of them) as a positive thing and not as survival.
- Getting healed from my demons (lust, resentment) does not depend on how intense I pray but on my willingness to be healed (lame man by pool of Saloam). No, I don't have to get religious and try to want it bad enough to deserve it. Willingness just requires humility to see the extent of my need and my inability to do anything about it. Humility means working in community. James 5:16 The 'effectual, fervent prayer' promise is based on confession and prayer in community. 'Effectual, fervent' means working, not to 'do it right' but to share in humility.
- It takes the same amount of humility to give properly as it does to receive. To be gracious requires the humility to see myself in the receiver position but for God's grace. I would not like to receive anything from someone who was not willing to also receive. I could not trust their motives. Points with God? Pride and love cannot coexist. God is the best example of loving humility. Help me, Lord, to be able to give graciously. I know it is possible to give cruelly.
- Help me, Lord, not to be deafened to Your voice because I am looking for only religious instruction. I am looking forward to the time when we can talk about anything.
- Help me, Lord, to avoid labels, for myself or others, in order to avoid controversy and to focus on You.
- One explanation of how religion fell into legalism (there are many) is that the devil has drawn them out of the castle to fight in the open field, leaving the castle open for attack. The castle is our heart and God has provided His armour to protect it. The devil stirs up threats in the external with fads, trends, etc. Well meaning christians rush out to oppose this threat with external means. God did not promise to protect the externals. Once we focus on the externals, our heart is open for attack.
- Religion says to avoid passion because it leads to temptation (meeting the passion through immoral means). But our passion comes from our pain due to unmet needs, etc. The pain comes from sin, either our own or someone elses. Therefore, to avoid passion is to avoid dealing with our root sins.
- How do I give into passion without giving into self-gratification? Perhaps, by giving into the pain which increases along wiht the passion as my sensitivity increases. The pain will remind me of my deepest longings which can only be met by God.
- Nothing destroys passion more than religion. Without an outlet, passion leads to rebellion from God either in chasing desires or legalism. Both are self-focused. Religion sees pain as evil, but in order to embrace passion, we must embrace pain. Both lead us to God.
- Why did God give me such an amorous woman? He seems to be fueling the fire. He doesn't seem to be half as afraid of passion as I am. Maybe fear of passion is the more dangerous perspective. Help me Lord to have faith that You will not let me go astray if I release my passion. Indeed, holding onto my passion will lead me astray.
- Institutional thinking focuses on the external. God focuses on the internal. Man marvels at David killing Goliath. Goliath was just unfortunate enough to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. He accidentally crossed paths with a christian who was totally submitted and in tune with God. That was the big event. Killing Goliath was just an invevitable consequence and just the last couple hours of a 10 year walk with God. David was the only one with righteous indignation.
- Life is not about balance. all things are of God. I just need to approach them in a worshipful attitude. Balance is just about legalism. 'Do all thing as unto the Lord.'
- Our society has created a 'castrated christianity' as God put it this morning. Through the guitar, clothes, exercise, hiking, and sandrail, God showed me an image of myself that would break that stereotype so that being 'good' did not mean harnessing my manhood. Thank You Lord.
- Lord, help me to remember to not judge my spiritual state by how much You speak to me or by how much I do, but just to keep my motives focused on You.
- Thank You Lord. (name)'s explanation makes sense. The trouble is due to baggage not sin. Help me to deal with my baggage.
- June 26 - The Utmost for His Highest - 'It is not a question of praying and asking God to help you - it is taking the grace of God now. We tend to make prayer the pereparation of our service, yet it is never that in the Bible. Prayer is the practice of drawing on the grace of God.'
- Forgive me Lord that, as Peter, I am putting my desires above You. It was with good intentions that he opposed Christ when he talked about His death, but Christ used unusually harsh language to rebuke him by saying, 'Get behind me Satan'. When I pursue intimacy with You, I am doing the same thing. I am putting my desires above Yours. Help me Lord to desire what You desire and to pursue Your purposes more than intimate time with You. As a result, I am sure that the intimacy will happen at the time and in the way that You see best.
- Forgive me Lord for taking charge of the devotions and daily prayers. Help me to listen before I speak and allow You to set the direction and subject.
- Forgive me Lord for looking at our relationship as a means of preparing me for some great work in the future. Help me to see it more as a means of intimacy at this moment.
- Mark 10:29-30
- In my quest to be of use to God, to have a purpose, I focus on developing a skill. Makes sense on an earthly level. But Christ said to 'consider the lilies of the field' Matthew 6:28 which provide a great ministry by just being, not by doing. When I focus on God, He changes me and my changed life, much more than my advice or service, has the influence to change hearts. I may not even be aware of it's effect. The Utmost for His Highest May 18
- Forgive me Lord for seeing the purpose for You working in my life as a means for me to get what I want and need rather than as a means of glorifying You and drawing people to You.
- Ephesians 12:1,2 My purpose is found when I find God's perfect will which I find by renewing my mind which happens when I offer myself to God as a sacrifice. Help me Lord not to demand but to submit.
- I will seek Your face in the face of thers. This will keep me from making projects out of them.
- Help me Lord to understand intimacy with You better. Forgive me for coming to devotions to learn about You rather than to just love You and enjoy time together. How do we relate outside of trying to solve a problem or accomplishing a purpose? How do we fellowship just for the joy of it? Teach me as you walk me through this relationship with (name).
- Forgive me Lord for desiring a purpose more than You.
- Lord, help me to watch and see where You are working and join in rather than trying to figure out how to serve You.
- Forgive me Lord for looking at Your purpose as the changing of my life to fulfill what I was meant to be and do. Thank You for reminding me that Your purpose has a much more global scope and that my change to come to fulfillment of my identity is just one part of the whole scheme and plan. I am just one player. It's not all about me.
- Psalms 32:9 Help me Lord not to submit to You as a horse with a bridle submits but with my whole heart which wants what You want. You have graciously given us the dignity to share Your passion as we serve You. Help me to submit my heart to You and not just my actions. The first part of this Psalm talks about You being our shelter. This second part of the Psalm shows that You cannot be our shelter unless we trust You. Forgive me for trying to dictate the design of the shelter. The main material the shelter is made of is divine passion. I love You. Forgive me Lord for trying to build a shelter out of my own desires. Thank You Lord for my custom made shelter of passion.
- Lord, thank You for showing us that our stumblings are not Your main focus, but rather our heart. As You lead us to dance on the high ground in the enemies camp as passionate people, we will stumble. Our walk won't look near as orderly as someone in the safe institutional valley. That is scary but exciting. Help us to focus 'not on the outward appearance, but on the heart'.
- Oh Lord, thank You for starting to fulfill Your promise of giving me discernment. Help me not to use it to counsel others as much as to intercede for them in prayer.
- Oh Lord, when You do not move in me there is no life to be found. I am base, selfish, needy and have nothing to say as a string puppet on a wall. But in Your amazing, unselfish grace, You take me up and make me dance. People are amazed and they love me and they love You. I just pray that You always let them see the strings and even more important, always let me see the strings. Help me to always wait on You and not try to dance on my own. You promise them that I will soar like an eagle - just with strings. Help me to cherish the strings and not resist them. They free me and never bind me. A puppet should never get tired. Help me that my motivation to dance is so people will love You more than love me. It's confusing when they are always watching me as You hide behind the curtain. I cherish Your touch. I love to dance for You even if there is no audience. Please expose any sticky joints in me so You can fix them. Help me to always remember that those I love have strings too. This kills the performance anxiety, the shame, the competition. Help me to celebrate their dance and enjoy their dance as much as I do my own and not be jealous. May my dances inspire others to be tied up in You so we can all dance together.
- Help me Lord to not get caught up in the religious functionality of religion. Help me not to crave a release from guilt put on me by 'saints' or myself but to crave You alone.
- As Caleb in his old age, we too do not choose the easy land in the valley but choose the Devil's stronghold in the high ground where the giants live. As with Caleb, we are by Your grace, as strong as we were in our youth. The Devil has chosen all the best ground to setup camp such as sexual passion, exercise, natural living and the arts (such as music) to name a few. The christian community has far too long avoided these areas and settled for the easier life in the valley which has left no place for their passions but in materialism and media entertainment. Without passion, the institutional church has bean overrun with administrative types that mirror it to the business hierarchial structure. It has been so for so long that many 'religious people' associate passion with sin as did the early Greeks who condemned the flesh and all earthly things as 'carnel'. An extreme example is the muslims who prefer to cover their women in bercas and cut on themselves. I know I am speaking as a right-brain person. there is nothing wrong with left-brain gifts such as administration for all gifts are equally valuable. But let us serve God with a 'whole heart'. Oh Lord, let the intensity of the passion that You have given (name) and I in our older age be a testimony to You. That when people see us, they can see You as the passionate God that You are. Help us not to shun or fear passion but to integrate it fully into one christian walk with You. It can be argued that this is a more dangerous position to hold but I feel that complacency is much more dangerous.
- When we know God, we will love Him. Love causes trust. When we trust Him, we will obey Him. Once we obey Him, we will trust Him more. This leads to more love and ultimately to a better knowledge of Him. 'If you love me you will do my commandments'. John 14:24
- Exodus 17:8-15 The Lord is our banner - Who we honor, serve, represent. Help us Lord to keep our hands lifted, as Joshua, to You and to Your promise that we will have the victory. The battle is not won by sacrifice or determination. Just praise. All other things, if called upon, come from that.
- Because of their refusal to believe, He was unable to perform any miracles there...' Matthew 13:58 Mark 6:5
- Letter to the group. If I have a wonderful experience with God under an oak tree one morning, it would be tempting for me to go to that oak tree the next morning. that may even be a good idea. But if God is not willing to meet me under that tree at that time of day, then I should stop the practice. To continue so would be to idolize the situation. I will not worship the oak tree, the morning time or even the wonderful feelings that I had there with God. For that reason, I left the traditional church. I will not idolize a denomination as a type of worship, including house church. At the same time, I will not condemn those things that God has chosen to use in the past. I believe that God is still using, to some degree, the traditional church, and in even a mighty way, the house church. However, I don't feel God under the oak tree anymore. I will not cling with nostalgia to what God has left behind. I hope I do not sound condescending by stating the obvious. For my own sake, I felt it important to state my intentions for meeting up front. I will not invent or revert back to old ways in hopes of wooing God's favor or presence. Where God leaves a gap, I am willing to leave a gap. I am used to waiting on God. I waited 7 years for direction from God when He directed me finally to the house church and (name). I am waiting 6 months (I hope that's it) to marry (name). I will wait for God's direction as far as church structure. In the mean time, I cherish the opportunity to take the one step that He has made obvous, fellowship. Thank you (name) and (name) for guiding us into this first step.
- In order to live in a state of righteousness, peace, and joy, one thing I need to do is not cram too much go-do's into a short period of time.
- 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' Hosea 6:6 Lord, help me to not measure my deeds and especially not by the amount they cost me.
- Thank You Lord for perspective. For showing me that I focus on You in the midst of a crowd while You are being silent by focusing on others. Trying to focus directly on You is just focusing on me. There is no room in love for jealousy when You come to others. When You do use me it is not a sign of approval. It is selfish to want the spiritual experiences to myself. As I look to the needs of others in my prayers, I trust that You will direct my development.
- Thank You Lord for reminding me to not measure my spirituality by the number of 'spiritual encounters'. My spitituality is measured by my care for others if it can be measured at all. It is hard not to doubt my standing with You when You come to (name) so much. I will not take Your encounters as kudos. You have already made it clear to me that You love me in many ways. Forgive me for doubting it.
- Matthew 15:9; Mark 7:7 'But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.' Help me Lord to find true worship apart from tradition.
- Help me Lord to be a reflection of Your refuge to guide people into Your rest by reflecting 'righteousness joy, and peace' in such a way that people naturally want to open up. Not so I can play counselor, but that people can accept Your healing.
- Help me Lord to not get so busy following Your path that I forget to follow You.
- I find that a worship service is anything but. If it is worship, then why does the object of the exercise seem to be to get a warm fuzzy. We think that if we grovel enough, God will fill us with His Spirit. As You have shown me before Lord, help me not to be so handsy and so obsessed with orgasms. It is enough to sit in silence on the porch swing with You. I have noticed that we have not had a lot of warm fuzzy moments lately, but You have never been so real. I will not measure my relationship to You by the number of intimate moments. When You want something done, You don't cover me with kisses. You just say it. If it is something scary, then You may say it with a hug. I have not forgotten our two weeks of silence together. Your Spirit has been with me since You saved me. I will not insult the blessedness of Your presence by loud chants calling on You to come. (name) calls it spiritual masturbation.
- Lord, help me to accept Your acceptance. Just because You don't use me doesn't mean You reject me. That is hard to accept.
- Lord, help us that our church services are not about us - how much of the Spirit's warm and fuzzies we get, how much prayers and support from others we get, or how much we learn. It is about how much Your kingdom is furthered and how much I am changed to think less of my pain and be more loving and think of others so that I can play my part in furthering that kindom. I am also convicted by how much time I spend in my devotions focused on improving my problems. Help me Lord to focus on You so I can walk on the water. I will never overcome my pain as long as it is my main goal.
- John 13:35 'By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one for another.' This was confusing to me because it seemed that that is all the church did was care for it's own and no one else. But it says to 'have love'. This is not a practical, functional thing but a condition of the heart. Verses 3-4 say 'as I have loved you'. This does not mean to remember to pray for, to give of money or even time. It means to hurt when I hurt and to rejoice when I rejoice. This is the 'new commandment'. If I took a poll on the street asking what was the one thing that comes to mind when you think of a christian, I doubt love would be at the top. Wouldn't it be nice if that were the biggest criticism the world had for christians - that they loved too much? Help me Lord to love as You love. This is the only way to revival.
- One of the hardest things to deal with is when nothing is happening. I start second guessing myself. Maybe I don't love God enough. Then I start second guessing God. Mybe He doesn't love me enough. Help me Lord to do neither. Help me to maintain Your space.
- I Peter 4:8 'Love covers a multitude of sins.' The focus of this verse is not God loving us, although it definitely applies, but our love to others. There is only one love which we are invited to share in. This scripture seems to say that it is much more effective to focus on love than on elliminating sin. This makes sense since it causes us to focus on others in a selfless way. My spirituality is not about me.
- 'Principles are what people have instead of God. To be a christian means among other things to be willing if necessary to sacrifice even our highest principles for God's or our neighbor's sake the way a christian pacifist must be willing to pick up a baseball bat if there's no other way to stop a man from savagely beating a child. Jesus didn't forgive his executioners on principle but because in some unimaginable way, He was able to love them. 'Principle' is an even duller word than 'Religion'. July 2 Listening to Your Life
- When a black Islam iman in Chicago's black district was asked why he converted from christianity to Islam he said, 'Islam offers a way for emasculated men to become something. Christianity, on the other hand is a welfare religion - Jesus paid it all- and my people don't need that'. p.77 The Last of the Giants
- We are living our lives between Good Friday and Easter Sunday on Saturday, the day with no name. Philip Yancey
- 'Something is missing from our lives that we cannot even name - something we know best from the empty place inside us all where it belongs. We come here (church) to find what we have lost.' p.155 Listening to Your Life Frederick Buechner
- I have, within myself, all the bad characteristics of a traditional church - separate, critical, lazy, religious, and shallow. Help me Lord not to be an obstical to You.
- In Matthew 25, Jesus tells us that the way we treat the poor and sick is how we treat Him. I find it easier, in my selfish thinking, to love Jesus than the poor because He has the power to change my life for the better. However, don't the poor, as representatives of Jesus, have the same power?
- Lord, help me not to try to teach everyone into Your kingdom or to walk with You better. Teaching is the gift, the strength that You have given me and so is my choice weapon. You prefer me to use love. That is Your strength and my weakness. This is where revival will come from.
- Most christian music is about us praising God rather than God loving us. Lost are not attracted to our 7-11 music (7 words sung 11 times).
- Henri Nouwen said that spiritual growth is going from untrue certainties to true uncertainties.
- Ever since Yancy's remark about church being for the saved instead of the lost, I have lost interest in the traditional church. I see it as my cage. I like my cage for me but I see it doesn't help the lost. I am so institutionalized. I don't want to leave my cage. I don't know what to do with my freedom. I will go and look for a house church since they more closely match the original church at Jerusalem. The group format will allow God to be in charge. Help me Lord.
- Prayer is more important than I think. Why is my devotions always about learning. I can pray.
- Help me Lord not to be black-and-white with my relationships with people. Thank You for showing me that I do not socialize with people that I have a disageement with.
- The world is divided between sin and love, tragedy and joy, punishment and mercy. Where the two sides meet is the answer to this conflict - the gospel. April 30 Listen to Your Life Buechner
- Help me Lord not to take Your work on my shoulders but instead be thankful and enjoy the priveledge of being allowed to participate in the small way that You have offered me.
- Spirituality is not about figuring it out, overcoming temptations or a series of accomplishments or skills. It is being. Being is being in love.
- We are so exclusive that we would be doing good just to include everyone in our congregation, let alone those outside.
- We need to meet where the people are meeting. They are not going to come to us.
- Not to sound critical, but for most of the community around our church, the only sign that we are alive is the cars that show up in the parking lot on Sundays.
- If Jesus came to Tucson, I do not see our church in the middle of the action.
- Part of me says that we are not well suited for reaching the poor community. This is what is most convicting of all.
- It's interesting to see that Jesus did most of His teaching to the masses. And when He spoke to the masses, He never did it from a church building. It was in open land (park) or at someone's house. Perhaps this was less intimidating. Then government would resist us coming out of our 'sanctuary'. One sign that we are on the right track.
- Lord, help me to stop measuring how close I am to You by how well I am dealing with life's trials (how happy I am) but instead measure it by how loving I am (less self-centered).
- The attitude of our church is reflected in it's location. It is centrally located between the members on the better side of town. Shouldn't the location be set in a location that is convenient for those we wish to reach? Jesus avoided the good neighborhoods. why are we spending our time trying to force camels through needles? Our church appears to be set up to attract christians more than the lost.
- Yancey asks in 'The Jesus I Never Knew' why Jesus related so well to the poor and needy and not to the religious yet the church is the opposite. Why aren't we attractive to them? I notice that first, Jesus met their medical needs (dental, pediatric, prenatal, geriatric, etc.). Then He met their physical (hunger), Then He met their spiritual by addressing their pain and showing them that God cares (You are not the product of evolution, me and mine. Survival of the fittest is not the road to happiness). We are competing against a secular government. Nearly all of these people are victims of addictions (drug, alcohol, sex) - another competition. We have to compete with cable. Most are hispanic. Maybe a packet of food, medical supplies, toiletries customized for street people, old people, single moms, etc. Many resent authority because they are from split homes. The church spends so much time trying to meet it's own needs, but this is it's need - to help others. Once we have developed a heart for giving love rather than trying to get love, we would not need anymore marriage seminars, parenting seminars, how to know God better seminars, etc. Just like an individual, the spiritual growth of the church will happen when we stop focusing on it and start focusing on others. This would destroy the not-so-untrue myth that christians are out of touch with reality, more interested in stamping out sin than hunger and disease. That we lack passion. That we are more like an elite club rather than a refuge. All of our societies ills can be traced to 'self-ism'. The best way we can help them is by example. Right now, we are not 'separate'. We just coat our lifestyle in religion and then condemn them for not following that example. Now I know why I need to learn spanish. Now it is time for revival.
- I don't want to sound judgemental or sexist, but I see a pattern. Once a woman gets a tast of bitterness, it is like cocaine. I have never seen any woman cured of it. Help me Lord to not let it take root and grow in me.
- When I hear myself or others say, 'I just want to please God', I see pride, not humility. I hear Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount say, 'Be perfect'. Forgive me Lord for putting words in Your mouth, but it sounds as if You are saying, 'You don't know who you are talking to'.
- In the light of the awsomeness of God as seen by people such as Tolstoy and Luther, validation becomes obscene.
- If learning has anything at all with embracing god, it is un-learning that has been, by far, the most useful.
- Being spiritual is not knowing more or sinning less. It is lovng more. God is love.
- Help me Lord not to divide life into sacred and secular, mundane and holy. Help me to find meaning in all things. Help me to treat meaning like mana - enjoy it in the now and not hang onto it. Help me to live a sacrimental life. Sacriment - physical object with meaning attached.
- The second stage - 'Love of God for one's own sake' has many disadvantages of which I experience them all. My love for God varies according to how much I am getting out of the relationship. My success in dealing with attachments varies in the same way. My love for others also varies in the same way because it's motive is about what I am getting out of it.
- We can be distracted by being overly concerned with virtues and vices and forget our primary task of tending to our soul through prayer, which is nothing other than loving attentiveness.
- The three steps of spiritual development:(Larry Crabb)
'You are all I have'
'You are all I need'
'You are all I want'
spiritual development restated:
'Love of self for one's own sake'
'Love of God for one's own sake'
'Love of God for God's sake'
'Love of self for God's sake'
- Help me Lord to stop measuring my spiritual growth in terms of success or failure, accomplishments and goals but instead 'abide in Your love'. As Gerald May says, it is not God and me but God in me and me in God.
- 'To love righteousness is to make it grow, not to avenge it.' George MacDonald
- Help me Lord to remember that 'contemplative presence' with You or being awake is for being more in tune with You not to help me do it better. Changing my heart to be more loving is a byproduct of Your presence.
- Help me Lord to stop seeing life as a balance of self made departments of myself and just yield to You.
- Lord, help me to once again come back to seeing You as an ends in itself rather than trying to manipulate You to be a means to an end. The beginning christian asks if he can worship You without giving up his addictions. Later. after much defeat, he asks whether worshipping You will get You to give him those desires. Finally, after no success, he realizes that the pain of unfulfilled longings is the path to You. 'Consecration is the bridge between reformation and transformation.' p.162 Addiction and Grace Help me to consecrate my depression and my loneliness to You. Help me to not see You as a substitute for my addictions by defining spiritual moments as everything that feels good. p.150 Addiction and Grace Instead I consecrate myself to You with my pain as a pleasing offering to You and allow those moments together in the pain to soften me as the flame softens the candle so You can mold me to be in touch with the loving person that You created me as. Help me Lord that my pain could be not just a constant remindeer of You but that it be my worship to You. p.148 Awakened Heart
- Oh lord, in my search for You may I also find myself, the loving person that You made me.
- 'Good and evil, in the moral sense, do not reside in things, but always in persons. Things and events, whether fortunate or unfortunate, are simply what they are, morally neutral. What matters is the way we react to them. Only rarely are we the masters of events, but (along with those who help us) we are responsible for our reactions...Events give us pain or joy, but our growth is determined by our personal response to both, by our inner attitude.' p.281 Paul Tournier Reaching for the Invisible God
- Whenever I start thinking of myself as spiritual, all I have to do is stop and 'spend time with the Lord' and see how quickly I lose focus and become distracted.
- Forgive me Lord for struggling so hard to get You to be present with me. Remind me throughout the day to be in Your presence, to 'practice the presence of God' more and more constantly.
- Lord, help me not to constantly torment myself with concerns about whether I am 'doing it right'. Fretting about whether we are close or not based on all kinds of false assumptions such as we are close when You are teaching me something so I can write in this journal. Obviously our relationship is about much more than You teaching me. When will I accept that we are always close? Help me to always be awake so I can see You better. Not only during devotions, but throughout the day as You give me opportunities to express Your love to others.
- Lord, I pray that You will guide me with Your grace to be able to meditate without controlling or judging my actions and thoughts so that I can let Your Spirit flow through me unhindered.
- Transformation comes in the end, not from an act of will, but an act of grace. We can only ask for it and keep asking.' p84 Reaching for the Invisible God
- To focus on the addiction piles quilt on me which causes me to be even more self-preoccupied. Guilt blocks humility which is where we experience God's grace.
- I find confidence in my humility and dignity in knowing and admitting my limits.
- My goal in defeating an addiction must not be focused on relief from the addiction but experiencing grace in the process.
- To indulge in any attachment is to rob ourselves of the dep loongings that give us a clear path to God.
- Lord, as we go through this process of teaching me to walk, as You hold me for a while and then let go allowing me to struggle for a while and eventually fall, help me not to beat up on myself and curl up into a pity party as I constantly expect more out of myself that I ought. But instead, help me to laugh at the joy of going though the process with You and just hold my hands up so we can do it again. 'Count is all joy when you fall into divers temptations.' James 1:2 Now I see what it means to take myself too seriously. Life is not an endless list of problems to be solved.
- Oh Lord, help me to use the KISS principle in all aspects of my spiritual walk, especially in dealing with my addictions. I know that wherever there is complication, there is error. This means, concerning my addictive behaviours, to not do the next addictive behaviour. This means, concerning my spiritual life, to love. p138 Addiction & Grace
- Help me Lord not to come to You with my cup filled with oughts, shoulds, apologies and false promises, but instead only with your blood.
- Lord, help me to not get caught in the trap of beating up on myself and constantly apologizing about my addictions. This is arrogant and dishonest. It is saying that I am better than that. Help me to be honest that my attachment is proof of my idolatry.
- I give my temptations power by fighting them because I fear them. Help me Lord to just let them go rather than trying to push them out of my mnd which never works.
- God could miraculously heal me from my addictions. But by allowing me to have a free will, He is alowing me a part in the struggle and therefore giving me dignity.
- Relax your shoulders.
- Pain and suffering bring us closer to God. As we get closer, we are able to be freed from the attachments causing our pain. Our pain is then replaced with compassion - feeling the pain of others. But that pain is filled with hope, not despair.
- In the second temptation, where Satan offered Jesus rulership of the World, Jesus said, 'Get behind me Satan'. These are the same words used to Peter when he cut the ear off the temple guard. Peter was trying to do the same thing as Satan. We need to be careful about dropping Jesus' name, making Him a poster child or a mascot of our cause. There is a line here that I cannot see clearly. For example, we should clearly be politically active especially concerning moral issues. However, Jesus conspiculously avoided such moral topics of His day such as slavery and woman's rights. I can see that it would probably be over the line and destructive to God's kingdom to spend our time picketing gay bars rather than ministering to gays. It would be over the line to say Jesus is a Republican or American. But God blessed the clergy who spurred on the Revolution. The church has to take a stand on the gay agenda. But clearly, many moral issues of our day would best be fought by our testimony rather than in court. Banning God from schools. How could they if we were true christians? Can I really say,'God is on my side'?
- The Latin root word for repentance is 'poena' - 'pain'. The Greek word for repentance is 'metanoia' - 'change of heart'. The Hebrew word for repentance is 'nacham' - 'to be comforted' or 'eased'.
- How can we analyze faith? This mysterious working between God's grace and our will. This is what makes faith so uncomfortable and so difficult to explain. But, at the same time, it can be so powerful that we can trust our lives to it.
- I am as the little kid always asking why. I sense that God would rather us just play together.
- Without attachments, we float in the fuzzy world of faith. Many times, I want to attach to doctrine and truth - 'Grounded in the truth'. No, I am to trust in God when the only truth that I have in that situation is that God is good. This is the grain of mustard seed. 'Grounded in truth' is not in the Bible. Only two scriptures talk about being grounded. Ephesians 3:17 talks about being grounded in love. Colossians 1:23 says to be grounded in faith. These are the twin breasts mentioned in Song of Solomon.
- Lord, help me to not make Your revelations an attachment.
- Spirituality is not an acquired skill. It is the letting go of our acquired skills.
- To try to 'get it right' is to try to control God, making my relationship to Him manipulative, addictive, and codependent.
- I seem to measure my 'closeness to God' based on how well I deal with my loneliness and addictions. This thinking makes a number of false assumptions. One is that when I am at peace and not tormented by my loneliness and addictions, that it is because I have 'gotten it right'. In retrospect, those moments of peace have crept up on me as a gift from God. Another assumption is that 'closeness with God' is freedom from those torments. This makes God's fellowship valuable only in the sense of how much relief it gets me. As I continue to strip away the 'wood, hay, and stubble' I become fearful if I will find any true, genuine love at all - for God or anyone else.
- Lord, help me not to fill my empty cup with guilt. Help me to see my failures as a doorway to grace.
- We long for the spiritual world to make itself evident in the physical world. But to think this way implies that they are two distinct, incompatible things. This leads to reductionism (C.S. Lewis) which, if taken to the extreme, defines life as an organ in a dark container receiving electrical impulses from various sources. When Christ was born, both worlds were joined in Him as they once were in the garden. Now we are 'in Christ' and so the two worlds are combined in us. How can we say 'Where is the spiritual world?' when we are surrounded by sunsets, music, smiles. The real question is 'Where is the church?'
- I write this again, not as profound wisdom, but to remind myself of what I forget so often. The way to God is 'The Way of Suffering' that leads to the cross. Learning is not a substitute. It is telling that I enjoy talking about this point more than I like doing it. Learning is about finding a cure. Suffering is about walking through the storm to God.
- The christian culture says that owning our desires is dangerous and can lead us into temptations. In fact, the opposite is true. Disowned desires are usually our downfall.
- Lord, thank You for showing me how hopelessly evil I am and how forgiving You are so that I am free from religious struggles to do better. But help me to see the other side, how loving You are and how lovely I am so that I am free to be who You made me and pursue You as You pursue me. Help me to announce that I am the one for whom the glass slipper fits.
- When I desire understanding as the way to God, I am falling into satan's deceit that he has used from the beginning in Eden. The way to God is intimacy.
- Spirituality is not something to master, but to experience.
- Help me Lord that my faith does not begin 'to feel more like a series of problems that needed to be solved or principles that had to be mastered before we could finally enter into the abundant life'. p.7 The Sacred Romance
- Forgive me Lord for taking on the burden of Your work as if were a crucial part rather than seeing my participation as a blessing from You.
- How can I focus on such a vague topic as being more spiritual? Being more spiritual is just being more with You and being more like me.
- Help me Lord not to fret and worry about my spiritual progress but focus on You and let the progress take care of itself.
- But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. II Corinthians 3:18 Verb can also be translated as 'reflecting like mirrors'. We cannot separate the two acts. Lord help me to behold and reflect as Moses did (II Corinthians 3:7) from one level of glory to the next.
- Help me Lord to be humble enough to leave the real work up to You and. when I see broken people, direct them to You with the higest recomendations based on how You have helped me. You are the 'great Physician'. Thank You for allowing me to help and thank You for not making it my responsibility to do the technical stuff. Now I see better that 'It's not all about me' is a show of love, not a request for self sacrifice. I am perfectly fine with being the doorkeeper directing people into the doctors office. Thank You for not 'putting on me more than I could bear'. Being such a regular customer myself, with so many divers ailments of my own, makes me a good door keeper. All I have to do is be sensitive enough to recognize pain. I know pain.
- Religion says that we must deal with our sins in order to get to God, but we must get to God in order to be able to deal with our sins.
- We can't say that God loves me but is put off by my sin. Only love that loves me as I am is true love.
- When God grants me peace, I run away. I want intensity. Peace is accepting that God loves me as I am. Intensity is acceptance and identity in accomplshments or relationships. Can I accept that being loved by God is enough? Religion is a noise that tries to drown out this peace.
- Help me Lord to be broken and vulnerable without being self degrading and masochistic. Then I can be gracious instead of judgmental. Thank You Lord that Your love sent me through the long path of recovery so that I can distinguish them as I see it from the backside. The one is God-centered and the other is self-centered. (Peter and Judas) The one causes intimacy with God and others, the other causes fear of God and others. The one focuses on forgiveness, the other on judgment. The one sees God as enough, the other is obsessed with adulation. The one is about grace, the other about performance. The one acknowledges God, the other does not. the one causes honesty with God and others, the other causes hiding and hypocracy with God and others. In the one case, we forgive ourselves, in the other, we do not. The one accepts God's presence, the other works for it. One focuses on God's love for us, the other on our love for God. The one focuses on who I am, the other on who I should be.
- 'He will withhold no good thing from us.' Good things are not blessings.
- The only difference between conservative and liberal religious groups, besides moral standards, is the amount of effort it takes to get blessings.
- Help me to remember, Lord, that insights come from You and not from books. It's OK if I don't get a chapter read today.
- God has chosen a nobody to reveal His Grace to. The insight that He has blessed me with does not change my status.
- Lucifer decided that controlling his own life to satisfy his own desires was a much more direct approach to happiness. In order to lead us into the same mistake, he invented religion. From then on, man has been tired and unpationate. Help me Lord to avoid this narcissistic trap. I always end up either tired and depressed or arrogant.
- Over a week has passed without a book to read. I now see that books are a crutch and a way of avoiding the uncomfortable silence of intimacy with God.
- To crave the intensity of religious experiences over the still small voice is a shallow relationship like a physically dominated relationship with a wife. Help me not to confuse You with Your intensity. Lord help me to find the deeper, more subtle relationship with You. My ability to enjoy it would not rely on my 'spitituality' but would be a gift from You.
- Am I as excited for people when they discover something about God from another source other than myself?
- Even the insights in this journal can be a crutch to getting close to God. I am already there, or more accurately, He is already here. Keep my 'eyes on the Lord and His righteousness (not on me) and all these things shall be added unto you.' (No need to focus on what I think I need.) Trust.
- Can I rest in God's love without the support of learning something new? Are books a crutch? I am not fallng. The amount that I cannot rest is the amount that I depend on self.
- I cannot tie my ego (selfworth) to God's use of me. If He uses me alot, I am good and if He uses me a little, I am worthless. That is codependent. God's use of me can never be used as an acalade. Neither can His show of love for me for the same reason. Only when I drop these ideas can I rest in His grace. God loves me. Live with it.
- I cannot adore God and be focused on self.
- I refuse to let my devotion time with God to be taken up obsessing about my sinfulness. It's not about me.
- It is obvious to me now that the Lord is just asking for some quiet time together. Do I love Him enough to 'waste' my devotion time, that I could spend learning, to just sit in His presence? The true show of a close relationship is when silence is comfortable.
- Faith is not beliefs. Faith is trust which then establishes beliefs. Trust comes from experience. Contemplative prayer bridges the gap between beliefs and experience through love.
- The Bible is not God. Reading the Bible is not spending time with God. Being true to it's doctrines is not necessarily being true to God. Reading it to the world is not necessarily sharing Christ.
- My faith in God does not depend on my faithfulness.
- Lord, may I seek You for Your sake and not mine.
- 'Let us be careful not to seek mystical experiences when we should be seeking repentance and conversion.' Shepherd of Hermas
- Learning is about me, worship is about God.
- Moral rules give us security. Spirituality gives us insecurity.
-God is in the Now and I disappear. I am no longer concerned with my spiritual condition. I am not obsessed with self analysis. Guilt and shame disappear.
- Help me Lord to distinguish a Christ-centered life from the prideful self-sacrificing legalistic martyrdom of the stoic conservatives who have no passion.
- Forgive me Lord that I am motivated in my spiritual walk by my own desires and ambitions causing me to be discouraged when it doesn't bring me the joy and adoration that I desire and instead serve for your purposes.
- Am I seeking an experience with God or seeking to know Him better?
- My knowledge of God comes from my experience with Him, not the other way around.
- It was the desire to encounter God that drew Peter out of the boat and into the storm, not the desire to be more holy, to show up the other disciples, or to do the 'right thing'. There is no sin in staying in the boat.
- I have always hated my sin because it offends me. Now, I hate my sin because it offends God. It's not all about me.
- 'That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit.' Romans 8:4
- 'Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free...ye have been called unto liberty...This I say then, walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.' Galation 5:1,13,16
- Legalism and guilt are narcistic and offer a false-security and so blocks our view of God.
- 'They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.' Isaiah 40:31
- I struggle trying to stop struggling. It's still trying to 'get it right'.
- 'Without Christ we can do nothing.'
- 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.' Isaiah 30:15
- 'Working to do better' squelches the Spirit rather than brings me closer to God.
- II Corinthians 5:17 'He is a new creature, old things are passed away, behold all things are become new.'
- II Corinthians 5:14 'Love of Christ constraineth us.'
- Romans 5:5 '...love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost.'
- As long as I continue to try to 'do better', I have not yet grasped how wretched I am. I am beyond repair. My old self must die and be replaced. 'Not I but Christ.'
- Trying to figure it all out is the works of the foolish Galations.
- Lord, help me to stop trying to reform and instead transform. To relax at your feet even though I smell of pig manure. To stop trying to rearrange the furniture, of trying to 'get it right'. 'Be still and know that I am God.'
- Lord, help me to be more like Mary and less like Martha. The better part.
- Lord, help me to give less advice and more love.
-Why is it that the only artistic people that are christians are musicians, except Kincaid? All of the passonate artists are extreme liberals. No wonder Hollywood always says the way to passion is to shun religion and it's restrictions. Is there no passion in the christian circles to counteract this attack?
- As I persue my vision from God, He will show me the faults I need to address.
- I have too many problems to focus on fixing them. It will overwhelm me and take up my life. I will instead focus on my vision (sensitive to other's pain) and only deal with the problems that get in the way of it. This is a positive approach. Self mutilation is selfish and about making my life better for me. Godly sorrow vs. guilt. And help me to use this attitude in order to connect with others.
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